The other week I received an email notification that someone wanted me to contact them personally. This request piqued my interest. The person requesting contact had the same name as someone I worked with 29 years ago.
The message came in late, so I had some hesitation about contacting them. The message indicated that they were in pain, so I called.
On answering, the voice on the other end wanted to know who was calling. I told her “Jeff Murrah“. She asked if I was the real “Jeff Murrah“. I assured her that she was talking to the genuine article.
Sure enough, the person was the one from 29 years before. Within a few minutes, we caught up and the conversation picked up where we left off years before.
She was a nurse that always impressed me. Her strength and boldness in addressing health issues reassured me that the problems of the patients were being taken care of. She was always taking excellent care of others which was important to me when I was running the hospital unit she was on in Baytown.
At this point in life, she’s now the one needing care. The tables have turned. She, who cared for others and who was in the thick of the medical crisis team at the Oklahoma City bombings was asking for help.
After talking with her, I reflected on what transpired. Once again I was impressed with her boldness and courage in just asking for help and reaching out.
I wondered about others who are hurting from affairs. When you are experiencing needs after discovering an affair, will you have the boldness she does?
It takes boldness in asking for help when something is wrong with your marriage. In many ways its admitting that there are problems and that you don’t have an answer. It puts you in a position of humility.
Although the world wants you to think you can do anything and that you don’t need anybody, the truth is that there are times you do. Admitting that there’s a problem in your marriage is viewed as being a failure.
Something has failed, but it doesn’t mean that you are a failure. At such times, you need the courage to reach out and say “I need help”.
If anything when my friend asked for help, I didn’t view her as weak or inadequate. I still saw her strength even when she shared her struggles.
When your marriage is on the line, you need help, yet reaching out for it is challenging. If this sounds like you, consider the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”. In it you’ll find guidance, direction and hope in those first days of seeking help.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
