Recently a husband expressed concern about some observations he made regarding his wife. He reported that one day she really dressed up claiming she was going in to work.
She went all out in dressing up, even down to matching her undergarments. Her lipstick and make-up were immaculate and she even wore her best perfume.
On returning home at the end of the work day, her eyes were watery and her lipstick gone. His immediate thought was suspicion of an affair. He found this observation odd and was curious if he was making too much of it.
She acted like nothing out of the ordinary happened. Although she said everything was fine, he knew something didn’t ring true. He’s definitely picking up on something. When a spouse goes through that kind of effort that’s not routine, something is definitely up.
Although some spouse make it a point to up their dressing for special meetings, when it happens out of the blue and doesn’t fit their usual pattern, it is time to ask questions.
Keep in mind, what you are concerned with is whether or not the behavior is routine. Just because she dresses up, it doesn’t automatically mean something is going on.
It’s also concerning that she’s expresses more concern with appearances at work than at home.
How your spouse cares for herself gives you clues about many things. Her self-care tells the world how she wants to be seen and interacted with. When something happens there that doesn’t fit the pattern, it’s time to explore more.
I know as a therapist that how a woman wears her lipstick communicates messages about her and how she feels about herself.
Exploring what it means when the outward signs of self-care change, you might find that how she looks on the outside is connected to changes in her internal world. There could be many reasons for this behavior; before jumping to conclusions, take time to delve into the deeper meaning behind her choices.
I’ve often used the expression that when it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. She may not be having an affair, but her focus and affections are not on their marriage.
If you suddenly discover things that don’t make sense, don’t dismiss them. At some level, you’re sensing something, especially when they are out of the routine.
If you discover an affair, whether emotional or one containing intimacy, the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis” will help you through the initial shock and keep functioning.
At such times, your world comes to a screeching halt. Your mind suddenly changes along with your emotions. Knowing how to address the issues and what issues to address makes a huge difference.
In the video, you’ll discover ways of approaching questionable situations and when your worst fears come to pass.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
