One concern expressed by those who have been impacted by affairs is “How long does the pain last?” The answer depends on which person you are talking about. Affairs have a way of inflicting pain across the generations and through time. You may excuse and forgive the infidelity, but will your children forgive it? Will they think that it is understandable or forgivable? A common rationalization concerning adultery is that it is “two consenting adults”. Yes, but those adults have bonds with other people. What those two adults do impacts many others now and in the future. Consider if you want your grandchild to approach you and ask “Why did you have an affair?” Even if they don’t ask you in person, they ask it privately and come up with their own answers.
Although you and your spouse may forgive the incident and believe the hurt is over. The loss of reputation and the pain associated with it cuts across the generations. The same short sightedness that led to the affair often prevents people from seeing how their actions affect future generations, especially when there is a pregancy involved. So in response to the question “How long does the pain last?” -No one knows. Even to this day, the pain of historic affairs such as Julius Ceasar and Herod’s picadillos are still taked about and associated with the shame and tarnished images associated with those figures.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
