There are times when I hope that problems will just ‘go away’ without doing something about it. Like the story of the elves and the shoemaker, it would be nice if little critters would come out and fix them.
My imagination wants to either wish them away or consider the problem bigger than I want to deal with at the time. In putting off dealing with them I secretly hope they shrink in scope.
I’ve been guilty of hoping that hot water problems, computer problems, refrigerator problems and strange squeaks from my car would just ‘go away’ on their own. To this day, none of those problems were self-fixing.
I have accepted that although AI (artificial intelligence) promises many things, self-solving problems is not one of them. With many of these problems, I need help. My challenge is knowing when the call for help is necessary.
I was reminded of this when a reader wrote “I just don’t know how to get him to realize this just isn’t going to go away without help.” Perhaps her husband is one of those who either wants to deny the problem or hope it will fix itself without help.
When the problem you’re facing is an affair, it’s not going away on its own. There are no magic relationship elves that will fix your problem while you sleep.
Relationship problems, like the problems I wish would go away worsen when allowed to continue. The problems grow bigger and the solution grows more expensive the longer you put off getting help.
One of the surprises I’ve learned in dealing with problems is that the solutions are not as bad as I imagined. The scope and effort required is not as taxing as imagined.
The important thing is to get help and start solving the problems. Even when you aren’t sure where to start or what to do or even what questions to ask you can start solving the affair problem.
In the video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” I guide the cheater on their recovery journey. With a couple of clicks, you can start doing something rather than just wishing and hoping.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
