Although proponents of adultery and sexual licentiousness often claim that “What they do is a private matter”, when it is your spouse, parent or child involved, you find out how private such matters really are. The adulterers want to do what they do in private, yet learn quickly that such ‘private matters’ often impacts others. Those ‘private matters’ often start a chain of events that end up being very public matters when everything they did are discussed in courtrooms and public events.
When there is a possibility of procreation, what the cheaters do definitely impacts others. When the cheaters are exposed to social diseases, it definitely impacts everyone around them. When the cheating effects their health, it is not a ‘private matter’. I find it ironic how for such a private matter, many people want public insurance to cover the cost of their actions. If insurance has to pay for what you do, it is not a private matter. When courts have to settle disagreements, what was done is not a private matter. When innocent people are hurt by what you or the cheater did, it is not a private matter.
Many cheaters confuse shame and privacy. What they did is shameful and often needs to be hidden from view, yet that does not make it ‘private’. By confusing shame and privacy, they fool themselves and many others. Matters that are truly private in nature are seldom things we regret or feel guilty about. The behaviors associated with regret and guilt are better classified as shameful rather than private.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
2 Responses
Very well stated, Jeff. Cheaters think that what they do behind closed doors is nobody else’s business. In the end, however, multiple parties are affected. As you said, more often than not, many other “innocent bystanders” are affected by their “private matters” and these effects can be significant; lives are changed forever and often in a negative way. I just wish the cheater would fully think through what they are doing (or going to do) and realize the number of lives impacted by their actions. I heard an expression long ago, “a bad reputation, like broken glass, is difficult to mend.”
Scott,
It is good hearing from you. Many innocent bystanders are hurt by what cheaters consider a ‘private matter’. Such excuses may ease their own conscience, but it does little to comfort the pain of all the others hurt by their actions.