With the understanding that the worst affair is the one that happens to you, there are unique challenges arising with various affair scenarios. Each situation has its own unique gut-wrenching challenges.
One of the more difficult affairs for families are those within the neighborhood. What makes these affairs especially painful are the daily reminders of the other person.
Since the other party lives in the same neighborhood, shops at the same grocery store and their children attend the same school as yours, this scenario is very “in your face”. When entering or exiting the neighborhood, the family is reminded of what occurred.
The neighbor may be ‘hot’ yet sleeping with them brings a nightmare.
The frequent reminder of what happened agitates the emotional wounds that come with any affair. Like a festering sore, the frequent reminders bring up the pain on a daily, if not several times a day basis.
Under such circumstances, the fallout from the affair is intense and painful. Since many families are not in position for making frequent moves these days, relocating is often not an answer.
Instead, you are forced to deal with the reminders of the affair and the participants on a daily basis.
One of the issues that makes the pain worse is the damage inflicted on the reputation of the family. No matter what kind of rationalizations were made to excuse the affair, the neighbors will talk.
They’ll also regard the affair as ‘an affair’. The neighbor’s don’t sugar coat affairs.
They rely on assumptions rather than find out what actually occurred and what was behind it. Although those involved may understand the circumstances, the neighbors do not.
Even when you don’t know what the neighbors are saying, having to endure the looks and shunning that goes with affairs is painful. Many times neighbors respond in a manner more akin to an infectious disease than irresponsible choices.
With neighborhood affairs, there are additional pressures for the children. They are often seen as being somehow infected with the ‘affair’ disease.
They hear the stories and rumors associated with the affair. The various stories and and versions of what happened are confusing for children. They have trouble understanding such matters.
The affair casts a shadow that follows them and you wherever they go. Like a ghost that haunts you, the reputation chases you and your family everywhere.
In my work with couples, the neighborhood affair is particularly painful. Some of the most hurt, intense anger and fighting have been associated with neighborhood affairs.
When you need to talk with others about what happened, but want someone who understands, you’ll want to consider the support community at Restored Lifestyle.
Being a member allows you free access to affair recovery videos, articles and the latest studies, all within a community of others, like you who’ve been through an affair.
Best Regards,
Jeff
