“What about Bob?” is both a movie title and a poignant questions worth considering.
In dealing with affairs and relationship issues, there are many questions you and others like yourself ask. One area where many questions arise is that of sexual addictions. “Do they exist?” “How do they get started?” “Can anyone become a sexual addict?” and others. Are Tiger Woods and Ozzy Osbourne just making up this ‘sexual addiction’ stuff?
I was reminded of this on seeing a recent news story about Bob Crane back in November. He was known for his role as Colonel Hogan in the television show ‘Hogan’s Heroes’. The initial news of his murder was shocking back in 1978. Who knew that it would still be sending shock waves into 2016?
Bob Crane’s murder investigation remains open. His murderer has not been found. Recent DNA tests show that blood in the prime suspect’s car was not from Bob Crane. What is known is that Bob Crane was murdered, what is not knows is who did it.
Ernest Hemmingway once said, “Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you.” The story of Bob Crane is a real-life illustration of sexual addiction and final conclusions.
I mention the Bob Crane case, since Bob Crane’s case was the first high profile celebrity where ‘sexual addiction’ came into public awareness due largely to his being murdered. His murder brought attention to his vast array of porn, videotapes, and polaroids of his sexual conquests.
Bob Crane serves as a living illustration of the reality of sexual addiction and how far it will take you. He found his life driven by porn, seduction and affairs, despite his clean cut likeable outward appearance. On the outside, he was a likeable and handsome man with wife and family, yet there was a dark side hidden from public view.
His was a sad story that ended with him being bludgeoned to death. If you ever wondered whether sexual addiction is a real thing, you can look at his private life and see it illustrated.
So the answer to the question of whether or not sexual addiction is real or not, is that “Yes, sexual addiction is a real thing.”
Do sexual addicts all look like overweight, unattractive slobs? The answer is “No. Sexual addicts come from all walks of life and do not fit into any stereotypical visual category.
I received a call one day from a biographer living in Australia working on Bob Crane’s story. During the course of the interview, she wanted an understanding of the role of fantasy in Sexual Addiction. We discussed how Bob used fantasy in seducing his targets. She shared incidents from his life, I shared experiences from dealing with sexual addictions.
With practice Bob became very adept at seducing his targets. He took the idea of mentally undressing to the extreme of mentally seducing. He approached his targets with the mindset of having already seduced them in his mind. It was as if he had scripted the whole seduction.
He was merely executing what had been planned in his head. Since he’d played it over and over so many times, there was no twinge of guilt. His fantasy prepared him for the seduction.
If you wondered about “What is the role of fantasy with sexual addiction?”, the answer is “Fantasy is the foundation of sexual addiction. In order to remove the addiction, you must remove the fantasy”.
If you want to understand more about the role of fantasy with both affairs and sexual addiction, you’ll want to read my e-book, “Why He Cheats”, which addresses this topic in greater detail.
Best Regards,
Jeff
