One of the questions that came up with my family’s recent displacement was “how far is too far?” At the time, the question concerned how far we were willing to drive for possible relocations.
In response to the question, we considered an arc of miles. We came up with our ‘number’ and that was how far we were willing to go for relocation.
Surprisingly the relocation service found a place within how far we were willing to go that met our unique needs. Since our family now includes parents, two grown sons, three dogs and two cats, the options were limited.
One the relocation people knew our limits and unique needs, they eventually found a place.
I reflected on this idea one Sunday afternoon when considering recovery from affairs. During affair recovery, your home requires some changes.
Those changes alter the way your home feels along with what emotions are triggered and memories recalled. You’ll want removal of the affair related items. In previous writings, I often refer to those items and the memories or ghosts associated with them.
This day, what struck me was the question “How far is too far?” When making changes to your home in order to remove reminders of the affair, you’ll encounter the question “How far is too far?”
It’s always surprising at what activates memories and relapse triggers. So in response, I would say take it to your comfort zone and then a little further.
If you’re still in your comfort zone, it’s sign that the old sensations are still dominating. That’s a sign you haven’t gone far enough in removing triggers and making changes.
Comfort zones are just that, zones that are some familiar, they are comfortable. Change starts when you move beyond your comfort zone in removing triggers and bad memories.
Removing those things not only reduce the risk of triggers, they also help in moving past those stubborn unpleasant memories. It could be that one of the reasons you can ‘let go’ of some memory is that you keep items or surroundings nearby that continually set it off.
Reminders often happen at a sub-conscious level. Your body often remembers things that your mind overlooks.
If you are looking for a better understanding of triggers and preventing affair relapse, the video “Overcoming Affair Relapse” is something you want to consider. That video and others are available for no charge to members of the support community at Restored Lifestyle.
In the community, you’ll find others going through similar challenges along with resources you need for your journey through affair recovery.
Best Regards,
Jeff
