There are times when I find surveys and studies on infidelity more entertaining than informative. The mainstream media and public relations firms promote them with tantalizing headlines. The headlines fool many people into thinking “they found an answer” to infidelity.
This past month, one of those entertaining studies came out claiming that men with deeper voices and higher testosterone levels cheated more often than other men. The study was based on responses of 250 volunteers participating in the study.
The headlines could mislead you into thinking your husband’s testosterone level is the problem.
There’s a whole lot more to affairs and being affair prone than hormone levels. Women could find those men more attractive. The way the survey was constructed, they considered whether women thought those men would be more likely to cheat.
Those men may have higher sex drives. Those men may have come from families where infidelity is a major part of their family history. From the study, you wouldn’t be aware of those other factors.
When you’re desperate for answers, you read studies like this one and surveys about infidelity in your search for answers. You want to understand what’s happened in your marriage.
You believe that these studies and surveys give you answers and direction. You put your trust in them, and use them as guides.
The problem is that many of these studies are designed to generate traffic and attention rather than provide solid answers. Considering the opinions of 250 strangers as ‘truth’ for your situation can lead you astray.
After discovering infidelity, what makes the biggest difference is how you deal with it rather than how it happened or even why it happened.
When you consider how you respond to it along with what to do about it, you’ll be further along in your affair recovery than those whose head is in the past, filled with why it happened, why you and why now.
Think about it for a minute. How is focusing on what happened in the past in your marriage going to make the future of your marriage better? From my experience, you head in the direction of where you focus your attention.
Focusing on what you can do now, how you can recover and how you can make things better is preferred to living in the past.
In the video, “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”, I point out what you can do to get things going in a better direction, including ways you can start changing your relationship now.
Click and download your copy of the video today, so that you can have some real answers and solutions rather than the latest fad reports or surveys.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
