Some of the recent news items I’ve read concerning affairs have illustrated the danger of Affair Revenge. Although the ‘official’ law enforcement reports categorize these events as ‘domestic violence’, the reality is that revenge for an affair was a major factor.
On any day you can read about incidents of revenge where an affair is involved. Just this morning was a story out of San Diego about one such incident where cheating involved someone being killed.
There’s also this story out of Palm Beach where a young child had the task of calling the police to report the murder of her step-father. The incident involved, you guessed it…infidelity.
This means that when you search through crime statistics for affairs or affair violence, you won’t find much. By categorizing these incidents as domestic violence, officials avoid the stigma that affairs bring.
The crime statistics people find the easiest and simplest explanation for these episodes. Looking for the connection with affairs means that they would have to take stands on moral issues. Since not everyone views affairs as bad, yet everyone views domestic violence as bad, it’s easier categorizing affair revenge in that category.
When you have incidents involving passion and poor self control, it’s never confined to one area of your life. When you lose self-control in one area, the risk of losing control in other areas is high. The tendency of giving into losing self-control spreads across the different parts of your life.
This means that giving into affair passions brings the risk of giving into anger passions or revenge passions as well. The danger is higher this time of year with the unhappiness that comes with high holiday expectations.
Another danger of affair revenge is that it’s not limited to one part of the affair triangle. Lovers, the Betrayed and the cheater are each vulnerable to seeking revenge.
That risk of revenge is not limited to the time of the affair. The desire for revenge can lay smoldering for years. The one seeking revenge waits for what they consider the right moment and circumstances to launch their plan.
They may even look for an excuse to launch. This means even what you consider mild confrontations could set into motion paybacks for an affair.
The risk of affair revenge also means that when an affair happens, it needs addressing and resolution in a timely manner. Delays only make the revenge worse.
Not talking about the affair also adds tension to an emotional issues already at work. The issues need to be talked about and resolved. You need a plan for dealing with the affair.
This is where the Affair Recovery Workshop comes in. It guides you in dealing with many of the aspects of the affair and your marriage relationship. Including it in your plan early helps reduce the risks of affair revenge.
Click the link and download the workshop today.
In finding better ways of handling the affair, you’re also protecting yourself and your spouse better.
You want to put the affair behind you. You also need to make sure the issues are detoxified before doing so. Just because the affair is not talked about doesn’t mean that everything is settled.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
