I decided on addressing a question that occurs at times.That question is “Is a threesome an affair?”
To me it’s obvious that a threesome is an affair. With a threesome, the affections, passions and guilt are spread across all the involved parties.
The threesome allows the cheater off the hook as the only violator of the marital vows. By having a threesome, both the cheater and their spouse share in the violation of their marriage.
By sharing the guilt and blame that goes with it, there’s no clear cut ‘bad guy’ behind the affair.
Some cheaters actively attempt involving their spouses in threesomes or swapping to assuage the guilt. By spreading the guilt, they can ignore it. Although they’re no longer the ‘home wrecker’ in the sense that they bear full responsibility, they have masterminded the destruction of the spirit of oneness that once existed in their marriage.
They have poisoned the soul of their marriage, themselves and you. The affections of your spouse, which were intended solely for you have been split between you and someone else.
You may be a spouse that only wants to please your partner. You may think that since they want a threesome or want to swap so badly, that it’s your job to do so.
Your spouse may even get you compromised by getting drunk or stoned when they approach you. They know that in an altered state, you’re not thinking straight.
They may even take a ‘soft’ approach where you and your spouse make love in front of a third party or the two of you watch other couples making love while the two of you do so in the same room.
Such actions may be sexually stimulating, yet they also stimulate emotional reactions inside of you. Make no mistake, there are consequences.
They may even use guilt in motivating you to become part of their scheme. Exposing yourself to the threesome or swinging world is akin to exposing yourself to high doses of sexual radiation.
A threesome can even trigger memories of childhood abuse if that happened to you.
You may not initially feel any different, yet over time, the results begin showing, from the inside out. Mood swings, inability to sleep, anxiety, nightmares start reminding you what happened.
You may initially believe that you were being a loving spouse when you did it. When the emotional decay and destruction sets in, the true reality of what you did to your marriage and your spouse along with what they did to you and exposed you to becomes real.
It is not too late to begin turning your life around.
If you or your spouse have strayed in your marriage, there’s hope. An affair doesn’t have to mean the end of you marriage.
In the support community at Restored Lifestyle, you’ll find others who struggle with recovery from affairs along with helpful resources in the form of videos and ebooks that guide you through recovery.
Best Regards,
Jeff
