Have you noticed that therapists and counselors have become staples of daily life in America? You see them in television shows and movies quite often.
What you don’t often see is the learning curve they go through in reaching those positions or when things go sideways on telling clients things they don’t want to hear. I know from experience what triggers the strongest reactions from people.
These subjects trigger reactions so strong that clients have bolted out of the office. Given the strength of the reactions, I’ve learned that these topics have to be addressed in a manner where a little goes a long way.
You may wonder what would trigger such powerful reactions. What triggers these reactions is ‘telling them the truth’.
I was reminded of them when a reader asked, “Why does she get so defensive and heated when I try to tell her how I feel?”
When you tell them how you really feel, it is telling them the emotional truth. That truth resonates within them and triggers reactions. When you tell them the factual truth, you’ll also see strong reactions.
This is not a new problem of the 21st century. St. Paul wrote of such reactions in the book of Galatians when he posed the question, “Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?”
Telling your spouse the truth or them telling you the truth will trigger reactions. The more truthful, the stronger the reactions. This is one reason why it’s so important that telling them the truth must be done in love.
When not done ‘in love’ you may find yourself dealing with an enemy more than a loving spouse.
If you’re not sure how to do this or need a place to talk, consider joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle. There you’ll find others going through what you’re going through, along with helpful material for guiding you through recovery from the affair.
You’ll also find step by step instructions on dealing with situations where the cheater gets angry.
Best Regards,
Jeff
