Technology has made it easier to cheat, and easier to get caught. Texting on the phone has been the #1 way of catching cheaters. When the affair comes out, you may find the cheater resistant to changing phone numbers or removing people from their phone. It seems the more you demand that it be done, the more they resist.
Resistance in dealing with the affair is a common occurrence. The cheater may even claim that you are being ‘unrealistic’ in making your demands or that you ‘want too much’. They forget that you would not be wanting this much had they been honest and open with their communication in the first place. Having to make such demands indicates that there are still issues to be resolved. The cheater wants you to trust them, yet they are unwilling to give up any ground. Real life does not work that way. Even in purchasing a home, there is often earnest money. Demanding an earnest from the cheater until they show that they have changed or show commitment to the marriage makes sense to me. When the cheater approaches the aftermath of an affair like a negotiation on a contract, it is likely that they view the whole marriage as a contract as well, rather than a lifelong commitment and pledge of all they are and have to their spouse.
If the cheater is serious, giving up a phone number or erasing some numbers is a SMALL sacrifice in order to regain trust and rebuild the relationship. In some countries, there would be more required of the cheater than just changing phone numbers.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
