Decades ago, authorities used advertising to fight against the abuse of amphetamines. One message that resonated with the public was “speed kills!” While catchy, this message didn’t solve the drug problem. However, the phrase “speed kills” has endured and is now used for both drugs and traffic safety.
If it were up to me, I would adapt this mantra to address marriage issues today. My version would be “Perfectionism kills!” Many marriages have been ruined by the pursuit of perfection. Instead of enjoying their relationship, couples become consumed with the idea of being perfect and having a perfect marriage to feel loved.
They strive for perfection in every aspect of their lives, equating anything less with failure. This mindset leaves no room for mistakes or authentic connection. Marriage becomes a performance rather than a genuine partnership.
Perfectionism also leads to extreme thinking, where you’re either perfect or a failure. Perfect marriages are actually more at risk for affairs because the focus is on appearing perfect rather than fostering real love and connection.
Perfectionism also hinders affair recovery. It’s important to understand that recovery is not a smooth path; there will be setbacks and challenges. Expecting perfection in this process only puts your marriage at risk.
If you’re seeking affair recovery and struggling with perfectionism, I recommend watching the video “Overcoming Affair Relapse”. This resource will guide you through the triggers, setbacks, and challenges you may encounter during your recovery journey.
Remember, recovery is a day-by-day adventure. Some days will be smooth, others will be rocky – but none will be perfect. What matters is that you start the process of healing and growth, rather than waiting for perfection or giving up because you’re not perfect.
Let’s keep it real,
Jeff
