Looking at what people search for often reveals what they are ‘really’ interested in. In doing some research for an upcoming e-book on understanding how cheaters think, I came across news that disturbed me to my core. In terms of searches, there are plenty of people looking for cheating wives and cheating husbands in terms of them being willing partners or videos of them showing off their shame. That was unsettling, but not surprising. What surprised me was that are few searched for the effects of affairs on children. It is as if people only care about finding willing partners or dealing with the trauma of an affair and they have forgotten the children.
Cheaters often ignore the children until it comes time for child custody. Children are often used to accessorize their lives or as traps to trick a lover. Sadly, in either case, they are used. The cheater has the so-called fun and the children are left to pick up the emotional tab for their adventures. The children are often left with the scars and the cheater either assumes or hopes that they “will understand”. I can tell you from personal experience that what they understand is that they were thrown under the bus. You cheaters want children to accept your lover, forgive what you did and how you abandoned them. Have you considered that they may understand more than you assumed? They understand how you can not be trusted, how you lied to them, how you treated them as second class citizens and how you abandoned them. If the children of affairs received the same amount of attention and passion that the Trayvon Martin case in Florida is receiving, things would be very different and lives would be totally turned around. If people hated the injustice done to children with affairs with the same passion as they claim to hate ‘injustice and lies’ there would be a massive change in how society looks at cheaters.
At the present, we have to be satisfied that cheaters will continue abandoning their children, until they are convenient for the cheater to consider. Criminal like behavior with all the hiding, lying, stealing and taking what does not belong to them will continue being condoned, because society cares more about finding husbands and wives with loose morals than about the children touched by such affairs.
With Passion,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
You said a mouthful …can’t wait to read your book …one could be written on this aspect alone no doubt….
I wonder what would happen if a presidential candidate ran on this platform …I hear them talk about the plight of ‘single mothers’ but what about the way sexual sin has been fed over the years through media and nothing done about it …! Guess sexual sin makes too much cash for all kinds of vocations….social services, child protection service, government schools, lawyers , therapists, bars and liquor stores , pornography sales, birth control plantations, sex trafficking, prostitution, drugs to treat the various breakdowns , even real estate sales…since many have to live in separate homes….I am sure the list goes on …
Sadly it is the HEART of the children that are seldom thought of …even now as our children navigate the whole situations ..it effects their hope and confidence in being able to trust any man in the future or marriage as something sacred …even as they were raised in the Word ….it is a HUGE attack that Satan loves to encourage for just that reason ,.,it is shattering to the spouse ,,,the children and society as no other crime against humanity is ….
It is the NAGASAKI of LIFE …the heart of the family …
I am sorry for your having had this happen in your childhood….I had a ‘normal’ family …I thought ..until my dad left my mom when I was 21…JUST after I began to follow after the LORD …interesting ‘coincidence’ eh?
Zaza,
Your term, “Nagasaki of Life” sums up the truth of the matter. You also understand that there are many people making money off the whole thing. The divorce industry, with the lawyers, experts, judges, mediators, etc. often have a sweet deal that they do not want anything to change. I know that here in Texas, the shift to Collaborative divorce is still underway due largely to resistance from the ‘old school’ that benefits from the fighting and contention. There is no telling how many homes, college education funds and inheritances have been siphoned off into the pockets of divorce lawyers.