Back in the late 90’s anytime the topic of sex came up in the Sunday School class I attended, I was called in to teach. At that time I was known for addressing topics that typically are glossed over or viewed as controversial plus being a counselor, they felt I brought something to the lesson.
Although I didn’t go looking for trouble, I learned the importance of handling controversial topics. When others avoided issues needing attention, it was my cue. I found myself knee deep in handling such topics as blended families, divorce, affairs, birth control, and other ‘hot’ topics.
At first, I found myself experiencing some trepidation in addressing the topics, yet I knew that others needed answers, direction and reference points in dealing with them in their own lives. I also learned that it’s hard dealing with some topics without ruffling feathers or breaking a few eggs.
Being a counselor, I had already worked through my own rejection issues, so I didn’t mind catching some heat. I’m not one of those counselors who has to be liked by others in order to feel good about myself.
Like those hot topics from back then, one hot topic for you concerns blame. One question essential for your own affair recovery and healing is “Who do you need to quit blaming?”
Blaming someone gives you the illusion of control during a time when much is out of control. The blaming allows you to vent, yet it is keeping you from deeper healing.
Blaming is easy, challenging the need for continuing that blaming is where things get tough. When blaming goes on too long, it starts working against you.
If you don’t like being questioned on the topic, you can always unsubscribe, yet you’ll still have to consider the question “Who do you need to quit blaming?”
In the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” I address blaming along with forgiveness and other issues important for your recovery from the affair. You may not have caused it, yet your healing requires you quit blaming.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
