The question, “Can My Marriage be Restored?” is a big one for couples when your relationship has been touched by an affair. It’s an honest question that deserves an honest answer.
Before answering whether or not your marriage can be restored, consider whether you want it restored.
Do you want the kind of relationship you had leading up to the affair?
Keep in mind that if the needs of your spouse and you were being addressed, and the two of you were really connecting, then the risk of an affair would have been small.
In all likelihood, something was missing. Restoring your marriage back with the ‘part that was missing’ still missing does not improve things very much.
The question that I prefer is “Can my marriage be healed?” The answer to that in most cases is “yes”. Keep in mind that when healing comes to your marriage, it changes you, your spouse and the marriage relationship.
Healing spreads in all directions. The constraints that kept love from flowing and emotions bottled up are removed.
Healing changes how you think, how you feel and how the two of you interact with each other. You are not going to be getting the same cheater back, nor or they going to get the same you back. Healing brings a transformation.
When healing starts, you can’t put a a wall and say “No healing beyond this point!” or what one French king did when he grew tired of miracles happening at the church of St. Medard in the city of Paris.
There were too many miracles happening in his city. He wanted the miracles to cease. Too much many miracles meant too many headaches for the king.
Many of the locals began experiencing healing in the courtyard of the church. He wanted the healing to stop, so he took action. The king issued a decree that “On the part of the King, God is forbidden to carry out miracles in this place”. He did not want healing in his city.
Once healing starts in your marriage, are you going to be like the French king and forbid healing to continue or advance beyond the cheater?
Once your prayers start being answered, you will not be able to say “Stop!, You are not allowed to heal beyond this point!”
Healing often does involve pain. I have yet to see painless healing. Perhaps sedation dentistry has spoiled your expectations and you think that marriages can be healed the same way.
When you are talking relationships, you can’t be healed while sedated.
When it comes to relationships, healing involves action, talking and forgiving. The old diseased parts of your thinking and habits have to be removed.
The old dysfunctional parts of your relationship need changing. The benefits of that change far outweigh the pain. Are you going to be like the king that wants miracles to stop at St. Medard are allow them to start in your marriage?
The “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides you through the changes needed from ways to confront, to initiating forgiveness and discussing hurts. You don’t have to guess anymore, you can know where to start, what to talk about along with how to do it.
Just take action by clicking the link, filling out the form and within minutes you can begin making changes.
Best Regards,
Jeff
