After a reader queried about the ‘mental behavior of women who cheat‘, it became clear that a post was needed on the topic.
First, the statistics on the topic of cheating wives are not consistent, which means that you will have to take them with a grain of salt. There are some trends that are worth noting.
One is that the number of women cheating has risen in the past two decades. Wives are cheating more now than they did in previous generations.
The increase in cheating has been attributed to several explanations. One is that they are now earning more and with the increase in money, there is an increase in cheating.
Another explanation is that many women have more sexual partners now before marriage than in the past and one consequence of that is that they are more inclined to cheat as a result of that.
A third explanation is that with the advent of social media, they have more access to potential cheating partners.
An new fourth explanation is that they are tired of men who don’t help them around the house. The change in the status of men and their role in marriage has forced them to change as well.
Personally, I suspect that the increase in cheating is influenced by the perfect storm of more disposable income, more sexual partners prior to marriage, decline in moral standards, less stable families of origin, promotion of promiscuity by the media and greater access to social media combined.
Since one of the groups now more at risk than in the past is women under the age of 30, it is a concerning problem.
I have my doubt that researchers will study the stability of families of origin, shifts in moral standards or promotion of promiscuity since there are so many people making money from these practices along with some social activists intentionally working toward the break-up of the traditional family.
What this means is that young marriages are dealing with organized efforts and threats that previous generations did not have to face. When the forces working against your marriage are organized and systematic in their attacks, they are definitely a force to be reckoned with.
It also means that the thinking of many women has changed compared to twenty years ago. Modern marriage have to consider this change in thinking.
When you are faced with these modern challenges, some of the items you have to clarify with your wives include, “their view of marriage”, “their view of healthy sexuality”, “their view of family”, “what it means to be a woman”, “boundaries”, “moral convictions within a marriage” and “temptation resistance”.
These are not fun things to talk about. Although they are not fun, you need to know where your wife is coming from in these areas if you hope to understand them.
It is also important to hear them out when discussing these items. You want to find out where they are coming from, not force them to your viewpoints. This is one of the reasons why my approach to recovery focuses on communication as a starting point for recovery and connection.
My ‘Direct Connect’ method guides you in making deeper connection with your spouse during recovery. If you want a better way of connecting with your spouse, the ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘ provides you with the tools, information and directions for turning your marriage around.
Best Regards,
Jeff
