Every morning the deer arrive at our back door eagerly anticipating getting fed. Although the number of deer in the morning herd varies, there’s always some takers.
Over the years, visitors enjoyed feeding the deer. Over time the deer have started eating out of our hands and letting us pet them. We’re a little leery of the petting with the risk of deer ticks, although it’s still cool.
When our deer are in peaceful pastoral surroundings, they are social and approachable. We even have names for many of them that we recognize.
The situation is totally different when it comes time for walking the dogs. The dogs bring out a different side of the deer. They hear them, look up, get a panicked look in their eyes and take off.
The peaceful herd now clamor for escape in every direction. It’s an ‘every man for himself’ scenario as they scatter. Their behavior and demeanor radically change. A fearful brain doesn’t operate the same as a calm brain.
When it comes to relationships, the same principle applies. A fearful brain doesn’t operate the same as a calm one.
When you’re fearful, you react. You only hear a portion of what’s said and take action based on that. Instead of handling things calmly, you clamor for your exit. Traumatic brains don’t think, they react.
Once your brain goes into that fearful trauma way of thinking, the world changes. Now people and places that you once enjoyed turn threatening. There’s no longer a sense of calm or security.
Instead, there’s an uneasiness that takes over more and more of your life and thinking. The longer you stay in this way of behaving, the more your thinking and focus change. You see things different. You look for threats rather than enjoy where you’re at.
It’s as if a fearful, trauma struck brain becomes a monster and sees other monsters. It takes a life of its own. Rather than enjoying each day, you endure them.
The good news is that your brain doesn’t have to stay in that trauma way of thinking. You can move out of it and get back to the way you used to be. The video ‘Preventing Affair Trauma” guides you in ways of calming yourself down and getting unstuck.
You no longer have to be a victim of your circumstances. You can do something to change that.
Best Regards,
Jeff
