With social media and the many ‘public’ forums, addressing the issue of your spouse’s affair can cross lines and turn into a voyeuristic journey for some. When you share the details of what happened, not only did those affairs create powerful images in your mind, they will create powerful images in the reader’s minds as well. In providing such imagery to people struggling with cheating, your sharing may actually be providing fodder for either someone to fantasize about an affair, or make the nightmare of an affair continue on for someone struggling with the matter. Affairs just keep on giving pain long after the events of the affair are ended. This is one of the reasons it is important for you to approach such matters with caution, including who you talk to and what you tell them.
Affairs are often like high voltage radioactive wires. The high levels of sexual energy have a way of transforming and changing people, even years after the events. The half-life of affairs is extremely long. For that reason, you have to be careful. You may just want to ‘unload’, without considering the secondary impact of your sharing. When you do share, try to keep matters to generalities and intentionally ambiguous. The more explicit your sharing, the more dangerous it becomes. The images may be very vivid to you as you struggle through them. Those same images can be created in other peoples minds when you share enough details with them. At that point they become ‘demons’ that the person has to face as well. This means that your sharing may be facilitating someone’s fantasizing or their overcoming fantasizing.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
