An affair brings many things into your life. In the area of emotions, there will be hurt, anger, rage, disgust, loneliness, anguish, and alienation. While anger, hurt and loneliness often are given headline attention, the experience of alienation is one whose hurt is often ignored.
With alienation, what was once familiar becomes strange. You discover that you really don’t know those around you as well as you thought you did.
The experience is unsettling. It’s as if you are waking up in a new reality. Who you thought you knew, you realize you don’t know.
You feel like you are surrounded by strangers and strangeness.
Dealing with this strangeness is stressful. When the alienation becomes intense, you may even find yourself feeling fully dissociated from everyone and everything around you.
The world may seem very crazy and alien to you. Even family members strike you as being alien.
Such reactions happen more often you may think. Since this experiences are so uncomfortable, many people do not want to discuss them with others.
Such experiences leave the uneasy impression that you’re going crazy. if you tell others, you fear they may think you’re the one who’s weird. It’s hard grasping that the situation is what’s actually crazy.
It’s easier blaming yourself rather than seeing the bigger picture of how crazy your situation is and how crazy making it is.
Bear in mind, that the cheater just broke that promises they made to you. You just discovered that the value system they talked about is not the one they live by.
It’s not by accident that the phrase ‘alienation of affection’ was used in describing when lovers promises were broken.
You’ve been told that they love you and care for you, yet they just rejected you, your body, and your dreams. Under such circumstances any person would experience alienation.
Only a crazy person could wake up in such a situation and think that nothing is wrong. The fact that you cared, that you loved, makes you vulnerable to hurt.
It would take a hard heart to not experience hurt in such a situation.
The alienation is a real problem, that needs real help. The problem may not be you at all.
You are just being human with all the feelings and vulnerabilities that come with that.
Find out more about how to start taking care of yourself in the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” which provides more ‘how to’ information on turning your situation around. You can know what to do, how to say it and where to make needed changes.
Best Regards,
Jeff
