In keeping up with affairs and the latest findings, trends, etc., I read many blogs. Some are enjoyable, some are confusing and some take a no prisoners attitude. I find that the wide variety helps me see the issues from various viewpoints.
One of them which I find entertaining at times and at others infuriating has cartoons. One of the cartoons is “The Forgiveness Troll.” The troll is both cute and ugly at the same time, which is characteristic of trolls.
This particular troll asks the question “Why you no forgive?” Although I enjoy the troll, it’s message bothers me. It suggests that forgiveness is about the cheater and focused on the cheater. I suppose in some ways, the selfishness of the troll comes through in the cartoon.
I always thought trolls would be more demanding. My experience with them is that they insist you forgive them.
If you think forgiveness is about the cheater, your ideas concerning forgiveness are dysfunctional. Forgiveness isn’t about the cheater, it’s about you.
Not only is it about you letting go of your pain along with putting the trash behind you, I find that most people forgive prematurely. They go through the forgiveness process before they even have a clear idea what they’re forgiving.
When you don’t know what you’re forgiving, you can perform your ritual on any troll.
Forgiveness is also something that doesn’t work when someone demands it. It’s not an emotional slot machine that automatically pays out when you pull the handle.
Nor does it work when some ‘expert’ puts you on a guilt trip for not forgiving on their timetable.
For grins, I consulted my sons D & D manual regarding trolls. It points out that trolls are difficult to control, demanding, and do what they please no matter who they are working for or with. They also don’t function well in society and devour whatever they catch.
In comparing trolls with some spouses, I see similarities. I also see how living with someone like that is challenging and exasperating.
There are some spouses that demand you forgive them along with many other things. They devour your time, emotional energy and patience. They also see to it that their needs are addressed before yours.
Without realizing it, the cartoonist really conveyed some relationship truths with the forgiveness troll. Forgiveness is good, yet it is something that only works when freely done rather than on demand.
If you aren’t clear on what forgiveness is or how to go about it, the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” will help you gain a better understanding of it. The video guides you through the whole process concerning letting go of the emotional trash you’ve been carrying.
Life’s too short for carrying around resentments and emotional relationship trash. There are ways of taking it out of your heart and head.
Click and order your copy today. Within minutes, you can be on your way to shedding some heavy burdens that have been weighing you down.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
