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You and your partner have known about the affair. To save your marriage, you have to understand that there are several things both you and your partner have to do for your marriage to be promoted.
Make sure the affair is truly over. The affair has to stop! No more communication and interaction at all with the previous lover. If the communication will still continue, then expect that conflicts and quarrels will escalate.
Agree on your mutual goal. At the outset, you should both come to an agreement concerning your marriage. Divorce is not the only option available. When you agree on preserving your marriage, then really work on it.
Ensure mutual accountability. As partners, you are both responsible for each other. You both need to communicate concerning your weaknesses and your problems. This way, you will come to understand each other better and you can work on your marriage.
Enroll in marriage counseling sessions. Getting an outside observer on your marriage can be a good thing because you can expect a more objective appraisal of your situation. This way, you can better understand your issues and your situation.
Identify the issues and work towards solving them. Infidelity may be a window to deeper issues in your life or in your partner’s. As you identify these issues, you can start working together in solving these issues. You will also know what to avoid and how to prevent the affair from happening again.
Restore broken trust. Trust, once broken, is very difficult to give again. As you work together for mutual healing and marital recovery, you can start restoring broken trust by giving it gradually. The pain might still be there and you might fear that your trust will be broken again. But trust, hope and love are our strongest emotions as human beings. Ironically, they are also the greatest source of our pain when we fail in these areas.
Love each other. Love each other! It is not only about feelings or emotions. Love is a verb. When you start caring for your partner again and looking after his or her welfare, the feelings will return eventually. But the best fuel for making your marriage go forward is by loving each other!
