In the my special report on “Using Brain Hacks for Healing”, one of the items I mentioned was mirror neurons. Since the report focused on healing your brain from the affair, I limited the discussion of them to using them in a positive manner.
These same mirror neurons become destructive when they’re exploited. When you’re constantly being verbally and emotionally abused, it’s hard to keep your mirror neurons operating in a positive manner. Another abuse of the mirror neurons is the consumption of pornography or voyeuristic behaviors.
The very systems designed for helping you develop empathy and connecting with others can end up haunting you and making recovery from infidelity harder.
Behavior researchers have long known about the power of modeling. Initially they thought it was a matter of when you see something followed by your mind and body attempt copying it.
Researchers have since found that the part of your body responsible for this is ‘mirror neurons’. These brain cells fire both when you perform an activity, and when you watch someone else performing it.
So although you may not have participated in an affair, your mind starts rehearsing those behaviors when you see someone else having an affair.
The more your mirror neurons fire at the same time as a particular behavior, the higher the chances are that this behavior spreads to other areas of your brain. You can end up adopting these behaviors without meaning to or even realizing what is happening.
Your brain saw it and starting repeating it on an unconscious level.
Even when you don’t act on it, the mirror neurons in your brain use what was modeled as a guide for directing your thinking and behavior. What this means is that those mirror neurons really do plant things in your brain.
Although researchers found out how these neurons work, it was pornographers who found ways of channeling and monetizing the power of modeling in the mirror neurons.
With pornographers, those same mirror neurons are used against women in order to groom them for nefarious purposes. It’s not by accident that pornographers intentionally use average looking women in their productions.
The average looking women are chosen so that the consumers of pornography are triggered when they see other average looking women.
Their product starts shaping and molding consumer behavior and desires. It directs your focus, attention and thinking.
The average looking women serve as role models for those women consuming porn. They want you to be able to fantasize about doing what the ‘actress’ is doing. Seeing someone who could be you doing it makes it more likely that you’ll try it yourself. And pornographers even use the ‘role model’ technique in their ads.
They know that once you see something, your mirror neurons will start firing off and they can start programming your behavior with ease. Even if you don’t imitate what you see, the brain is affected by merely seeing it.
Although I’ve mentioned the danger of normalizing affairs, the modeling of mirror neurons takes the dangers of affairs to a new level. Your own mirror neurons ‘turn on and tune in’ for the purpose of getting you to fantasize about having affairs since they are ‘like you’.
In other words, its not accidental that pornographers are marketing more to women these days. Their products are designed to mentally groom you for infidelity. This is way beyond ‘normalizing’. This amounts to intentionally planting infidelity seeds in your brain.
They modeled having an affair so that your mind starts rehearsing it in your head in the form of fantasies. Your own mirror neurons are used against you. Once the fantasies are planted, they’re not easily removed.
The fantasies keep replaying over and over once they are activated. At that point, they are planted in your mind forming mental weeds that need to be removed.
It’s also not accidental that some of the same methods used by seducers are used by pornographers in getting women like yourself lured into wild relationships. This is also why consuming pornography while recovering from an affair isn’t good for you or your spouse.
It’s also not accidental that pornography is often used in the swinger community, along with generous use of alcohol and drugs in keeping people locked into that way of life. They want you turned on, but your conscience turned off.
You can break away from the prison constructed by your fantasies. There are things you can do that change your thinking along with reducing the risk of an affair.
This is another reason why pornography is dangerous in terms of affair relapse. When your mind is still rehearsing what it has seen, the danger remains high. In the video, Overcoming Affair Relapse, you can find the tools and instruction in reducing the risk of relapsing back into affair behavior.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
