It is my hope you and your family had a happy new year. One of the traditions we have around that time of year is watching some of our favorite movies from over the years. In watching them I see and hear things that stand out. This year, we watched the Firefly series again. I have always enjoyed the Shepherd Book’s line “If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a special level of hell”. Although the specific offenses mentioned are lumped in with speaking in movie theaters, the line resonates on many levels.
One, it is a great line in and of itself. It is memorable, quotable, and packs a punch. Two, it is a message that we should all heed. Too often we see people taking advantage of those around them, be it through sexual assault or other means.
Shepherd Book’s character knew something about the painful consequences of choices regarding sexual activity. If you haven’t seen the series, Shephard Book is a pastor-type figure traveling with an odd assortment of galactic travelers.
With imagery straight out of Dante’s Inferno, his line came as a warning to Captain Reynolds. Like the flashing yellow warning lights, it alerted the Captain to the potential dangers ahead. Although it was presented in humor, it alerted the Captain to the dangers ahead if he gave into his baser urges.
In today’s world, it’s important to remember Shepherd Book’s words. Taking advantage of someone else will, indeed, lead to a special level of hell for the perpetrator. Respect and consent should always be part of any relationship and it is worthwhile to pause and think about our choices before we act.
I mean, even Dante had a ‘special level in hell’ set aside specifically for adulterers.
In my own mind, I’d love to whisper that line in the ears of any lover looking to poach a spouse away from their family. They and the cheater need someone reminding them of the potential damage their gratification is bringing. Unfortunately, the truth is that most people won’t listen until it’s too late.
That’s why we need to be vigilant in speaking up against those that would take advantage of others. We need to be like Shepherd Book and let them know there are painful consequences for their actions. It may not stop them, but it might make them think.
They need to see the FULL price tag that somebody’s got to pay rather than the feel-goodies they get caught up in. They need reminding of “If you take sexual advantage of her you’re going to burn in a special level of hell”.
I mention Shepherd Book’s line since one of the big days that cheaters get caught on is New Year’s Day. Why you may ask. The reason is that cheaters either send or receive “Happy New Year’s ” greetings in connection with their lover. This is the time you can search the cheater’s smartphone and make some big discoveries.
This also means that New Years is also a time when the old wounds may ache again. Even though you mind moves on, your emotions remember.
If you’re a betrayed spouse, please know that you are not alone. This goes beyond just the holidays. The pain and hurt that we feel is real. It doesn’t go away because we ignore it or try to push it down. We need to face these things head-on and work through them.
The good news is that you can make changes. You and your spouse can cancel any visits to that “special level of hell” by taking steps at turning your marriage around. With the new year, you can change the direction you are heading toward.
Sure, there will be some struggles, challenges and effort. Making marriages work always takes effort. The choice of having an affair amounts to someone making soft easy choices rather than doing what’s right.
No matter how much effort is extended into improving your marriage, it always pays dividends. Just changing the direction of your life makes a big difference. Learning better ways of communicating, building intimacy, and knowing what things to talk about that make big changes are transformative.
The Affair Recovery Workshop with the ‘direct connect method’ provides you with the tools for transforming your marriage. This is a great time to make changes in your marriage. Just because there is a special place for cheaters does not mean that they have to stay on their present course.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
