One of the benefits of social media is that you become aware of the latest trends. One of those trends is “casual dating”. Casual dating is the latest name for cheating.
In post-modern society, names are changes as a way of making bad behavior sound better. It does not make what happened morally right, it merely redefines words to keep others in the dark.
By using the label ‘casual’ is sounds safer and less formal. It makes it sound like you are just hanging out with friends or buddies. In one sense you are, but you are also hooking up with others for extra-marital activities.
The use of new names and new technology adds a sense of excitement and trendiness to old habits. By using the ‘new’ name, cheating now sounds like something fashionable and with-it. This is part of the cheating scam.
Those promoting the cheating always have to make it sound fun, trendy, stylish, attractive and fresh. They’re catering to a culture raised on having the latest ‘playmate’ or ‘pet of the month’.( I addressed this in my post on the Playboy Mentality).
Each new month brings new partners and new excitement into their lives. Rather than learn how to take their relationships deeper, they seek new thrills with new partners. What these cheaters fail to realize is that their lifestyle is keeping them locked into a level of emotional immaturity that they never seem to emerge from.
Casual dating is only the latest installment. Three months from now, there will be a new term, and a new way to package the same old scam. Three months ago is was about ‘discreet affairs’ prior to that, something about how you deserve to be happy, prior to that, claims about how life is short, so you need to complicate it with an affair. The affair game is always looking for some new shiny way to present and tempt new souls into their old ways.
With casual dating, the cheater can deny that they are actually ‘dating’, they can say “I saw them a few times”, or nothing happened, it was all ‘casual’. By calling it casual, it only means that no commitments were made. It does not mean ‘non-sexual’ or ‘no bonding took place’.
Casual dating like the other trendy terms used to hide cheating are what I call ‘weasel words’. They communicate without specifics and without clarity. They communicate enough for the cheater to admit their actions to have a clear conscience but without any conviction or violation of moral turpitude. If they were fully honest, their own conscience would remind them.
If instead of saying they saw someone casually, they honestly said, I hooked up with a slut a few times to get my rocks off or I went whoring around with some loose women, the message would be much clearer. Words and the choice of words can make communication clearer or it can fog the crud out of any message.
So what’s the solution? The first is honesty. The second is that when you are honest about casual dating when married, you are really dealing with an affair, and all that goes with it. That’s where my video on “Dealing with the Affair Crisis” comes in. It takes you through the initial shock associated with discovery of what’s been going on and starts you heading toward recovery.
Best Regards,
Jeff
