Surviving your parents affair depends on your age. If you’re a teen or younger, you’re taken for a ride whether or not you approve of what is going on.
When you’re a teen, you’re still dependent on your parent for some things. In such a position, you’re most vulnerable to their whims and antics.
When your parents whims and antics include affairs, there’s always the risk of new step-parents entering your life. Major changes like step-parents make any adjustment more difficult.
When you’re a young adult, and your parent has an affair, there are some unique challenges as well. They often want your approval. The affair is often taken personal, so when you disapprove of the affair, they take it as a personal disapproval of them as well.
Some parents may go ahead and marry their lover. When that happens, what follows is the expectation of a ‘big happy family’.
They expect you to react to their lover and enjoy them as much as they do. When you don’t, it triggers rejection reactions. The intensity of those reactions often vary. The bad thing is that when blow-ups occur, it’s likely be around birthdays, celebrations or holidays.
When you are middle aged and your parent has an affair, you may wonder if they are in their ‘right mind’. With late life affairs happen, they are discomforting.
Such affairs redefine your childhood and family history. They put a weird twist on everything.
Your parent may be having an affair with a wonderful person, which helps, but it does little to diminish the discomforting twist it puts you in. When affairs occur in late life, the cheaters often downplay the reactions of others to what they are doing.
They typically do not seek your approval, but expect you to accept them and their choices.
Dealing with your parents affair has its own set of challenges, among them loyalty, forgiveness and trust. Their decision impacts you and the direction of your life.
You didn’t make the affair happen, yet you have to deal with the fallout from it.
When forgiveness is part of that fallout, you’ll want the video on forgiveness. It’s entitled “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks“. It guides you through the process of forgiveness and letting go of any resentments you may be carrying.
Best Regards,
Jeff
