A recent reply to a post raised a fascinating question, “Do affairs make you stupid?” You may already be saying “YES!”, based on the stupidity of having the affair in the first place. Set aside that example for the moment, and let us walk through things together. First, cheaters often think of themselves smarter than others. They think that they can ‘get away with it’. The preferred method is through hiding or lying. It takes a lot of thinking to make a good liar. They have to keep up with what they told to who. It becomes a massive juggling act. Being able to juggle facts does not equate with intelligence. It means that they have good memory, not that they are smart.
True intelligence involves problem-solving and fore planning. An intelligent person can foresee consequences. Cheaters often act on impulse and continue with their pattern of impulsive be3havior. The more they give into it, the stronger hold it has on their lives. The impulsive behavior pattern which began with the the affair will bleed over into other areas of their lives. When you combine impulsive behavior with not a lack or weak fore planning, there are bad choices. Those bad choices are often seen by others as being “stupid”.
Just a few things to consider.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
4 Responses
YOWSIR~~~!
Yes. Not stupid. Devious. Deceptive and selfish. Appearing kind and charming to others, leaving me confused and frustrated and in the dark about the games he was playing. Quite clever really. A man who early on in our marriage who was so adamant about honestly became the consummate deceiver. Sad really.
just me,
It is sad how they go from one extreme to the other.