Have you ever wondered why the cheater is so passionate about the affair at first followed by a big letdown? They take off like a rocket and then act like the relationship is ho-hum.
A relationship that they are willing to sacrifice everything for becomes mundane, yet they remain unwilling to end it.
Although the affair hits the ho-hums, they don’t want to end it. They aren’t as excited as they once were and now seem to be coasting on fumes.
Seeing these changes puzzles your mind. You may have even thought that the problem with all these ups and downs was you, or your lack of attraction.
The truth is, the decline in passion isn’t about your attraction or your sexiness. It’s also not about your weight or your sexual prowess.
If you’ve seen these kinds of changes in your spouse what you’re witnessing are the effects of dopamine on them. This powerful chemical is the answer to your questions about the changes your seeing, and their reluctance of ending the affair.
In many of the posts I share, I’ve pointed out that the problem is inside the head and heart of the cheater. This chemical works in their brain, changing both their mood and their thinking.
The power of dopamine and adrenaline are beyond what many people can handle. The thrill that dopamine brings makes them forget all about their family, their commitments and marriage vows.
It’s not that they don’t care about those things. The chemical’s effect on them is stronger than their preferences. They start chasing after the chemical high rather than making choices about what’s good for them.
This also means when going through affair recovery, the two of you need to deal with what’s going on in their head in terms of managing the dopamine rush.
You need interventions that deal with what’s been changed in their thinking. It’s not just about apologies. You need ways of restoring their mind back to where it needs to be.
In the Affair Recovery Workshop, I share interventions with you aimed at making changes in their mind. Your biggest enemy isn’t the lover, but instead, the cheater’s mind and heart.
Keeping the lover away is only a temporary fix. If that’s all you do, it’s only a matter of time before they find someone else. Instead of quick fixes, use an approach that deals with changing their brain as well.
Click and download the workshop today and start changing your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
