You know the frustration of trying to open your spouse’s eyes to anything, much less the cheating. You know how they seem ‘out of it’ and unresponsive to what you are saying. Many times you have likely accused them “You do not want to deal with reality!“.
Reality brings truth and truth brings pain. It is much easier for them or yourself to live in a fantasy where you can avoid pain rather than to face the pain. Facing the pain means that you have to do something about it.
They have probably not faced reality in a long time. You have probably not faced the realities in a long time either. “The truth about facing the truth is that no one wants to face the truth”
So how can you help your spouse face the truth?
Before you can open their eyes to the truth, you have to start with you. You have to tell yourself the truth about what is going on. You have to quit hiding behind fantasies, before you get your spouse to quit hiding. My e-book has a whole chapter on “Telling Yourself the Truth” where I go into more detail about how to do it.
After telling yourself the truth and Accepting it, (You have to tell it , THEN accept that that is the way it is) then you are ready to lead your spouse into the truth.
Pain reminds us of the truth, because the pain won’t go away until it is dealt with. Many cheaters don’t face the reality until they get hit with court papers, or are forced to come face to face with the ugliness of the truth.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
