In the aftermath of hearing about an affair, you experience many emotions. Generally, in the forefront of the emotions is anger and hurt with the spouse who was cheated on.
The one who cheated may be struggling with regret and shame.
(I recognize that since we are human, there are often wide variations in the reactions to news of an affair. The example provided is a generic template. Some couples have other reactions which include apathy, revenge, relief or excitement and fascination with finding out more details about what occurred).
Whatever the reaction to hearing news of the affair, the couple need each other during that time. In cases where they don’t, the affair may have been one of the ‘exiting the marriage relationship’ type of affairs.
Assuming you are not dealing with an ‘exit’ affair, your spouse needs you in the aftermath of an affair more than they did prior to finding out. It’s a time of vulnerability in that damaging words and attitudes often inflict more damage during this time, than before it.
Although it is counter-intuitive to reach out, in the aftermath of the affair it is needed more than your wrath.
Best Regards,
Jeff
