I came across a thought provoking article in the Huffington Post on half-night stands. The topic has also appeared in other trendy publications.
It’s as if there is a manipulative full court press aimed at changing social norms. When several publications all have stories promoting the same behavior, it certainly appears that they are doing some social engineering and promoting it.
The article talked about a trend called ‘half-night stands‘. The ‘half-night stand’ is when a person hooks up for the encounter and then leaves, going home to their own bed.
Growing up in Pasadena, Texas, this kind of behavior we often called ‘whorin’ around’ or sluttin’ around. Being old school, there was no glamorizing loose lifestyle choices.
The term ‘half-night stand’ is used to distinguish it from one night stands. It seems that one night stands have awkward moments when you wake up and find yourself facing the person you slept with the next morning. In my mind, this is part of ‘waking up to the reality’ of the situation.
The author of the article pointed out that in modern society we live in a ‘swipe culture’ where you hook up then move on to the next encounter.
I see the half-night stand as a watering down and de-stigmatizing sleeping around. When you have major news organizations promoting and presenting such ideas, its’ little wonder that affairs are so widespread.
In today’s politically correct culture, many terms are watered down or de-stigmatized in order to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings or being viewed as ‘offensive’. I still like having honest names for behaviors. There are some behaviors that need a stigma associated with them.
The damage done by sleeping around with married people is real. No amount of name changing will lessen its impact. About 10% of affairs are one-night stands.
Somehow when you have a nice sounding title you can attach to an aberrant behavior, it makes it acceptable and explainable. It also pushes young people out the door by making such behavior sound trendy.
Since some hipsters follow what seems cool just for the sake of following the crowd, this new trend of ‘half-night stands’ is dangerous on multiple levels.
Those men or women having half-night stands pose a threat to your marriage and its stability. You need to know about the trends and tendencies out there so that you know how to deal with them.
I welcome hearing your thoughts on the new trendy term ‘half-night stands’.
Cheaters often manufacture many reasons to cheat. I find that they often cheat, they find a reason for it afterwards, rather than have a reason, followed by the cheating. If you want to understand more about some of the drivers of cheating, the ebook, ‘Why He Cheats‘ addresses this topic.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
4 Responses
Well….in order to hide his secret life my husband never stayed over night with he OW…that was what he stated and
It was also to avoid his long term adultery with having two children with tba OW from “qualifying for ” some kind of cohabitation legality ….I don’t know about that as he was and still is married despite all of the past behavior and his present living his life now away from me and our home …alone …but we can’t confirm that since he still keeps his life hidden
The only bit of what he has been doing was when we saw him with a woman not even his OW… But an new one and that was last year who he said he had been dating at that time for about six months and she thought he was divorced
He seems unable to be truthful and certainly refuses any kind of transparency
This kind of behavior gives his daughters great “pause” to realize their father who portrays himself as such a caring and upright person very well is duping the woman he is presently luring as to the idea no man could be trusted if their father can do such a thing intentionally while saying he cares so much for people and doesn’t want to hurt anyone
He claims he just doesn’t know how to tell what he is doing for fear of hurting the ones he “cares” for claiming this belies fear and a kind of cowardice while abusing and damaging trust in all who have been victimized by him
Tragic state of deception and selfishness
Btw
Merry Christmas !
Back in the 70s, I guess people were having “two hour stands” using that logic. (They would meet someone in a bar, go somewhere close by, have sex, and then one or both would return to the bar – or another bar close by).
The behavior was still tacky and, if done frequently, qualified the participants as sluts and manwhores.
Hookups are hookups, whether they take 15 minutes in a nightclub bathroom or a night. The chance of catching an STD and spreading it to a unsuspecting partner is especially high with these mini-hookups.
It’s not a huge positive, but at least at college, where most of us were 18-20 yrs old, the chances of destroying marriages or serious relationships was practically nil.
If a person is in a committed relationship or marriage and feels the need to seek sexual and/or emotional partners with someone else, they need to end their current relationship/marriage first. Accept the consequences of the action before taking it. If it doesn’t work out – oh well, you’ve did what you wanted and you paid the price.
Might make people think a little harder about whether sex with that other person is worth losing what they’ve already got.
Laura,
Thank you for writing. I like your term “two hour stands”. Back in the 70’s, there were not the HIV concerns. I like your suggestion of ending one relationship prior to hooking up. That would require accepting responsibility for choices and the consequences. Many people now want choices without consequences or responsibilities.
Responsibility means thinking through choices rather than acting on impulse. It also requires couples be honest with each other in talking about sex and their relationship, which many couples avoid.