A few weeks ago I addressed the topic of “I am what I am” type of thinking. This kind of thinking comes in various packages.
Some versions of it are “This is the way I am” and “I’ve always been this way.” On the surface, such sentiment sounds like the humble truth.
There are a couple of dangers with this kind of thinking. One is that it’s being promoted more frequently in popular culture. Pop culture is pushing this way of thinking in movies, programs and books.
The second danger is that this mindset is actually wanting you to lower your expectations of them. Those telling you this want you to accept them with their faults and not expect anything more.
When you hear the “I am what I am”, they’re really telling you they want you to accept them with what they did because they don’t want to make any changes.
If they don’t realize they are asking you to lower your expectations, their likely so caught up in that kind of thinking they can’t see any hope of change. If that’s happening in your relationship, it’s not a good sign.
In some ways the cheater is signaling that they want you to take them as they are without any expectation of them changing. They are surrendering to no change and are asking you to do the same.
This is one of the games cheaters play. They want you to lower your standards rather than them viewing change as possible or even striving toward change.
I want your relationship to be the best it can be. That includes dealing effectively with the games and tricks that happen along the way.
This is where the video, “Let’s Talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions” comes in. It guides you in dealing with communication related issues and challenges that happen as part of affair recovery.
Rather than getting caught in traps you never saw coming, you can instead work at changing things. Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
