Affairs and cheating represent one of the areas of human behavior that is surrounded by more distortions than political campaigns. When affairs happen, there is often a distortion of the events, and the sequence of them. The distortion occurs with the infidel and the resolute spouse. These distortions make it hard to understand what actually happened and also what can be done about the event. The distortions make it difficult to solve the problems in the relationship. It does this by creating an emotional mirage that misleads the parties involved as to what is the real issue that needs attention.
When spouses share what they think happened with others, the possibility of disotrtion increases exponentially.
When you are serious about improving your relationship, it is imperative to address the distortions. The distortions also reveal a great deal about the needs and thinking of the person who is distorting. Some of the distortions are part of the intial reactions to what happened, yet not all of it. Recognize that distortion exists, and that it may take weeks if not months before you have an accuate accounting of what happened.
Best Regard,
Jeff Murrah
