If you have wondered about what the impact of affairs are on children, you will not likely find much research done in this area. It is not that therapists and others do not know the impact. Affairs do impact children. The reason you will not find much is that the public does not want to be upset. Researchers need money to do what they do. When you look into areas such as the impact of affairs, it will turn up information that will step on people’s toes. It will make the public uncomfortable with affairs. Since there is money to be made by people having affairs, there are many who do not want such a socially undesirable issue addressed.
Therapists have long known that children are impacted by affairs. Issues of mistrust, insecurity, and poor impulse control are common. You can go through the biographies of people whose parents had affairs and piece together what the common issues are, which are many. You have all the issues of children impacted by divorce, yet they find themselves having to live with the source of the pain on a daily basis.
Bear in mind that not every society and culture frowns on affairs. Some cultures are so wrapped up in self-gratification, the impact on kids is ignored. In some, the culture condones the adultery behind religious wrappings. By condoning this behavior toward non-believers or blaming the victim, they turn a blind eye to this travesty. Some cultures want families weak. In those cases, affairs are a sure way to weaken families and family ties. Sure you may have more children with many lovers, which gives you more benefits, yet you sacrifice the strength of family to obtain those benefits.
The reality is that infidelity hurts. It hurts everyone it touches, the cheater, their spouse, the children and the lover. It also hurts the family, the community and the culture. Affairs also increase the emotional isolation of those involved. They become harder and harder to reach. This makes it harder for both the spouse and their children to have healthy relationships with them.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
