In the weeks ahead of the arrival of Hurricane Harvey, I spent the week bouncing between ICU and the waiting room at Clear Lake Medical Center. My focus was on my family member’s health.
Each time a doctor made his rounds, I was eager to hear the latest along with any change in his status. Although the television was on with news of the impending storm headed that way, my attention was on caregiving.
Dealing with an ailing family member in the hospital is filled with stress. Every hour consists of anxiety-filled minutes.
The constant waiting and straining for the latest updates, hoping for the best and dreading the worst. Even things like how they’re breathing, whether they’re eating and how they sleep now become paramount.
I could have cared less about the hurricane as far as I was concerned; all that mattered to me at this time was my family member.
Those routine tasks take on a new priority. Those little things are no longer taken for granted.
During that time, I found sitting in the waiting room quite a classroom. Around me were lessons and instructions about family members caring for each other.
One of the lessons I learned is that when a family member is hurting or in need, you make choices. In most cases you make choices of doing ‘whatever it takes ‘ in caring for your loved one.
It’s not the time for revenge, grudges or paybacks. I didn’t see anyone who was relieved that their loved one was hurting or dying. There were no celebrations in the waiting room about how anyone ‘got what’s coming to them.’
When your loved one is in the hospital, you look at the world differently. You have new priorities. Priorities that are about you being there to help.
When your loved one is sick or hurt, life doesn’t revolve around you anymore. It’s all about them and what they need. When they’re hurting, you just want to do whatever it takes to make the pain go away for them and give you some more time with them.
Likewise, when you’re faced with losing your spouse, you look at the world differently. The things that used to fill your daily routine suddenly don’t matter. The only thing you care about is your spouse and squeezing out some more time.
Your time priorities change.
The waiting room had no state fair booths with fried foods, Country Corn Dogs or funnel cake. There are no race tracks trying to sell us a ticket for the next big horse race, dog show, calf roping or cock fight. On occasion, a call comes in about extending car warranties; even then, outside interests fade in importance.
Even though the TV was on, few people watched it for more than a few minutes. They didn’t care what was on or which news station it was. It didn’t matter who was playing, or what the score was. Their focus was on their loved one.
The lesson was that when you’re about to lose your spouse, those other things don’t matter. Your attention becomes laser-focused on your spouse.
When it’s an affair threatening your marriage, is your concern on your marriage?
When your marriage is in danger, do you have the same amount of concern?
Are you taking the ‘whatever it takes’ approach when you’re dealing with an affair?
These are tough questions, but this is a tough matter. You find out how important your marriage really is to you during such times as an affair. You find out if you’re willing to do what it takes to get a little more time with your spouse.
If you have an affair you’re going to lose your spouse. It’s not a matter of if, but when and how. Your marriage is in jeopardy.
At those times you discover whether your marriage or your money is more important. You also discover what your priorities are in how you spend your time.
You need to ask yourself some tough questions just as those families in the waiting room were doing:
“Will I make whatever sacrifices are necessary?” “When it comes down to potentially losing my spouse.
The downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides you through what you need in recovering from an affair. You can have all the tools, techniques and direction you need in turning your marriage around.
You need to have the right tools and direction. You can’t turn your marriage around without those things. They’re critical to recovery. The workshop does require sacrifices of time and money.
The Affair Recovery Workshop is a self-study course that includes video presentations, written material, audio files, and activities.
Rather than losing your spouse to the lover, you can change how things go.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
