How’s your anger coming along? I would be remiss if I expected you not to be angry after what happened to you.
Although I understand this, I wonder if you do. Do you expect yourself not to be angry after what happened?
Do you give yourself permission to be angry? Although it sounds odd, there are times you have to allow yourself to be angry. Some of the biggest obstacles to recovery happen when you deny your own anger.
I was reminded of this truth about anger on reading a quote by Robert Ackerman. He said, “[Your] greatest pain is not realizing being victim, it’s when you realize what you missed“.
When you realize what you missed related to the affair, it’s enough to make anyone angry. You missed out on a lot. The affair caused you to miss many things.
The place to start in dealing with your anger is admitting it to yourself. The next place is being ‘okay’ with your anger.
Anger is a natural reaction to what you have experienced. Think about that for a moment.
Consider the other side as well. Not being angry is an unnatural reaction.
Which do you want, the natural or the unnatural. You’re going to go through it whether you allow it to come out or not. The anger will eventually come out.
Finding a place to discuss it along with healthy ways of dealing with it are important to your recovery. Unhealthy anger is the kind that hurts you and others. It leads to rage and health-related issues.
Rather than allowing the anger to take over your life and your thinking, consider your options. One is joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle. There you can share, vent and discuss without it damaging your relationships around you.
You don’t have to carry your pain all alone. There is help out there.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
