The recent earthquake events remind me of the importance of dealing with aftershocks. With an earthquake, you might assume that when the shaking stops that everything is fine.
When everything is in motion, you appreciate the importance of stability. You want everything to “Just Stop Moving!”
Although I’ve never been through an earthquake, I have been through hurricanes and had close calls with earthquakes. With the hurricanes, I eagerly looked forward to when the wind and rain finally stops. Although the earth doesn’t move, the wind starts moving things you thought were unmovable.
The sense of relief that happens when everything is no longer moving around me left me feeling grounded and thankful for making it through.
This is one of the dangers that happen when the eye goes over. It brings a false lull in the action. At those moments, you take a breath and wait anxiously for the return of the storm’s force.
When the storm resumes or aftershocks happen, it all starts over again. The feelings of being out of control creep into your heart and head again.
When it comes to affairs, the aftershock may be months or years in coming. You may have made it through the initial recovery, yet still find the fears, thoughts, anxiety and hopelessness coming back into your life.
Your mind knows it’s over, yet your body still thinks the Affair storm is raging. One researcher uses the term ‘amygdala hijack‘ in describing how one part of your body reacts with alarm even when the danger is past.
The cheater may be doing everything right, yet you still don’t feel right. You lost your peace of mind and it’s still not back. In the back of your mind, you still wonder how long things will last. Your body memories still recall what’s happened.
These aftershocks remind you that remnants of affair trauma still working in your life. You may have put on your game face and made it through recovery thinking ‘all is well’. Even though you tell yourself that you ‘made it’, the nagging thoughts in the back of your head and heart make any future still shaky.
When the aftershocks hit, you need to take the healing down to a deeper level. You made it through the initial recovery and now you need it deeper.
This is where the video on Overcoming Affair Trauma can help you with taking the healing to a deeper level in your life.
Consider what life will be like without the haunting fears still following you around.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
