Going to jury duty is always an education. Depending on whether you are called into city court, county or federal, the situation you encounter differs.
One way the experiences is similar is the tendency of the jurors and observers to only consider the crime or offense and not the issues behind it. The defense attorney works hard in shifting your focus to where you see the person rather than the offense.
While the defense tries changing your focus, the prosecutor strives to direct your focus to the offense and its effects on others. Those experience showed me that there are more than one way of viewing crimes and events that happen.
This dynamic replays when you’re dealing with a cheater that has a sexual addiction. Part of you immediately latches onto the sexual aspects of the addiction.
When your focus is on the sexual part of things, you miss seeing the person and the issues behind the sexual behavior. Things like trauma, shame, family of origin issue, drugs or fear of intimacy are often overlooked.
When you don’t see what’s behind the addiction, your solution doesn’t address the root problem. You may be dealing with what you immediately see, but that misses what’s behind it.
Those ignored issues continue simmering in the background. They color and shape each of your interactions with them.
In working through affair recovery, both the immediate behavior and the issues behind it. Both need your attention. When ignored or only half-dealt with, they come back to haunt you.
The haunting often shows up in terms of affair relapse. This is one reason that you need a good affair relapse plan addressing needs on the surface and at the root level.
If you need more intensive help with reducing the risk of Affair Relapse contact me at Jeff@RestoreTheFamily.com about counseling or consultations. Periodically, slots open in my schedule and times open up.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
