As you begins working on restoring your marriage, sooner or later you will have to consider “What are your spouse’s needs?” You may know what the immediate needs are, but how well are you aware of their deep needs. For that matter, how aware are you of your own deeper needs? I suspect that you are not aware of what they are or how to meet them. Considering how both of you know that ‘something’ is missing from your relationship. You are both searching, but not able to find what is missing. If your needs were being met, you wouldn’t be searching, nor would the cheater be searching.
You may have needs that you are unaware of. Those needs continue pushing and driving both of you. You have probably tried many substitutes, but nothing seems to satisfy and give you the peace, contentment, value, meaning and purpose that you are looking for. Rather than continue wondering what those needs are, wouldn’t it make more sense to learn about them and them come up with some plans to meet those needs?
In my “Sure-Fire Secrets to Restoring Your Marriage After and Affair” webinar, I addressed this topic in session #4. The needs of wives and husbands are different. In real life, there are differences between men and women. There are also many differences in what each of them need. Your spouse has different needs than you do. If you are trying to meet their needs based on your experiences, you are probably missing their needs. The affair itself is testimony to the existence of unmet needs in your relationship. It is hard to restore the marriage if you do not clearly know what each of you need.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D. Murrah
