As you deal with the affair, there will be times of discouragement. These times may last hours, days, weeks or even months. It is essential that you do not give into despair. During those times, you will need to surround yourself with encouraging people and hopeful things. When you surround yourself with fearful people or those without hope, they will bring you down further. Having someone who will cry with you, pray with you and talk honestly with you is important.
You will need to continue taking care of yourself as well. That means eating healthy, exercising and getting enough sleep. You may not think that such items have a direct relationship to affairs, but they do. They will help you recover. You need to recover before you try to get your spouse out of an affair. (I deal with this in greater depth in my e-book on surviving Your Partner’s Affair). Self-care comes before intervention. When you attempt interventions and try engaging your spouse without taking care of yourself first, you will increase the likelihood of things not going well and increase your discouragement.
You will need to listen to your bodies needs in terms of self-care. Take better care of yourself. Take time to breathe. Take time to pray, take time to think. Those moments you spend resting and thinking are often the most productive use of your time.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
Dear DrJeff and his Precious Wife,
Yes, living well is the best ‘revenge’! That is one thing l have endeavored to do and have encouraged others in the same predicament to do, as well. Why destroy your life, soul and body along with the cheater? Of course, far too many people do not come to understand the concepts & truths that will enable them to choose the better way and instead they end up sick, haggard and used up. So, so sad………
Just like the instructions on an airplane…….”Put your oxygen mask on first”…..you can only help your cheating spouse if you are strong and whole.
Strong, healthy, vital…..now that is attractive! So, when you have that to offer the wayward spouse and they still turn down your efforts to reconcile, then you know what your next move is……
Once again, thank you so much for all the precious support you provide! I read every one of your posts and always find something I can use for myself and others. Please, keep it up as long as you can.
I have been wanting to comment on a couple of your other recent posts, but have not had a free moment to do so. Until I have a chance, please know your efforts are appreciated by someone!
Take care, my friend……
Sherri,
Thank you for your insightful and encouraging words. I am glad that you have found the blog helpful. Hearing from readers like yourself is uplifting in many ways. It also reminds me that the pains and struggles of myself and others have not been wasted. Those experiences and lessons are now helping others like yourself. A book that helped me along the way was “Don’t Waste Your Sorrows”. The title itself has been encouraging.
I wish you well and hope that your day is filled with blessings. You have brightened mine and my wife’s.
Jeff