I was struck by a question posed at a site I frequent. The question was asked, “What is the worst kind of cheating?”. The simple answer is the one that happens to you. Since sex is such a personal matter, when a spouse is sexually unfaithful, it is often taken as a personal attack.
There are many types of cheating which I have encountered. Each type of cheating has its own horror and pain associated with it. There are situations of forced cheating/sex and its cousin, blackmail cheating. There is cheating done under religious pretenses, so that God can be invoked and people do not speak out for fear of eternal damnation. There is the horror of cheating with a family member, which stirs up issues on many levels. The story of Oedipus only begins to scratch the horror and pain associated with familiar cheating.
A particularly painful form of cheating is cheating with the neighbor. The pain grows in proportion to how close the neighbor lives to the cheater. There are the illicit cheating situations where the cheating occurs with someone who is under age. There are the power play cheaters, who use their professional role as a way to exploit people (teachers, police officers, etc.).
All cheating carries with it the risk that someone may kill someone. It may be the lover, the resolute spouse or the cheater. The risk is very real for all parties involved. It may be murder or suicide, but the risk is there. Cheating with the possibility of death is always a bad kind of cheating.
Each of these situations has its own pain. Trying to rank order them in terms of which is worst, is like considering what portion of your body would be worst to loose or feel pain in. In a similar manner, some of these situations can be coped with easier than others, but that does not mean that the pain is less or that it is less worse.
The worst kind of response to cheating is to wait in dealing with it. You need to take action now, before you grow numb to the situation. Waiting or putting off dealing with it is a sure way to weaken or loose your marriage. Take action by purchasing my ebook and start doing something about cheating now, rather than wait for the next available appointment.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
