In dealing with couples who are trying to keep from loosing their marriage, it constantly amazes me how far they are willing to go in order to keep their marriages. When it comes to tolerating sexual deviancy, many couples are willing to give wide spaces to weirdness, in hopes of saving their marriage. They are willing to accept toys, dress up costumes, and even other partners just to hang onto their marriage. I have even worked with couples where the wife was willing to join swingers groups, just to save the marriage. Although wide space is given to sexual activity and fantasies, when it comes to forgiveness and letting go, the same wide space is not given.
Many marriages would be saved if the couples gave the same space to forgiveness and willingness to trust. It amazes me how the couple who were willing to allow porn and wild toys, now fight over access to the call record on the cell phones. They find themselves arguing over the new girl at work, when previously the wife allowed the husband to view any kind of porn with any kind of woman before.
I suspect that the priorities are all turned around. The wide space should have been in willingness to forgive rather than in willingness to experiment.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
