The twisted thinking of the cheater goes to great lengths to justify what they have done. They may consider themselves ‘ignored’, ‘unappreciated’, ‘unwanted’ and a host of other adjectives. They may even present themselves as a ‘good person’ to the world. The good person image often leads others to assume that they must be the person to believe, which leaves you as the person to disbelieve and question. The cheater forgets that in all their efforts to make themselves look good, they leave you looking bad. To make themselves believable, the leave you looking like a liar.
This tendency to make you look bad, is part of the secondary damage from an affair. The cheater did not set out to attack you directly, yet in all their snake-like twisting, they end up looking good, with you holding the tab and appearing as the ‘evil’ one. Since the two of you make up the marriage, going on a campaign to make the cheater look bad or reveal the ‘truth’ about them would damage the reputation of both of you. You are stuck in a ‘no-win’ or what has become known as a ‘catch-22’. You may find yourself feeling trapped and helpless. It is important that you do not let the situation dictate your thinking. You do have options and choices, despite the feeling of being trapped. I talk about many of these in my e-book on surviving your partners affair.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
