Cheating affects everything it touches, including friendships. One of the things that you need after finding out about your spouse’s affair is a friend. Going through the emotional roller coaster after an affair will test your friendship. You will soon find out if your friend is truly interested in ‘your best interest’ or if they are selfishly only considering themselves.
Your friendship will be tested in terms of honesty. You will find out if they can be honest with you. You may also discover if you can handle honesty. Although we all want to think that we can handle honesty, the truth is many people can’t. Honesty is tough. Honesty often forces us to see things about ourselves that we did not want to see. Honesty forces us to face the truth about what is going on rather than constructing some la-la land reality where we are constantly writing and rewriting the rules of our ‘imagined world’. Going through the pain is not fun or enjoyable. It is during those times that we need a friend who can give us encouragement and prayer.
Your friendship will also be tested in terms of the friend not taking up offenses for what has happened. Although they are not to take up offenses, they may have to get you to ‘wake-up’ and get out of situations that are a threat to your health.
Some of the qualities I would look for during this time are:
1. Courage
2. Honesty
3. Loyalty
4. Good Listener
5. A person who can set boundaries when you can’t
6. A person who can pray with you
7. Someone you feel comfortable calling at 3:00 am
8. Someone who will not exploit you during your time of vulnerability
I deal with more of the topics addressing ways of avoiding meltdown in my webinar “Sure-Fire ways to Restore Your Marriage After an Affair“.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D. Murrah
