When you either demand respect from your spouse or hear them demand respect from you, have you considered what they are asking for. Sadly, many times, you may find yourself using the word ‘respect’, yet what you mean is that you want them to obey you, submit to you, or some other form of domination. By expecting such demands for domination and call it respect, you may be undermining communication and intimacy in your own marriage.
With this kind of thinking an ideal marriage has more in common with a military organization with submission, domination and ‘following orders’ than it does a supporting caring and committed relationship. The word ‘respect’ comes from the Latin root word respicere. Within Latin, the word ‘aspicere’ means to see, and it is a close cousin to respicere. Respicere literally means to ‘look at’ or look at again. Respect has more in common with seeing your spouse for who they are, or seeing them in context or their relationship with you than it does with following orders, standing at attention or obeying you. ‘Showing respect’ means to look at them, acknowledge their presence, their being and see who they really are and their relationship to you. Likewise demanding respect is not about having someone submit, but instead is about having them look at you, consider who you are and your relationship to them.
Although it would sound weird to say ‘respect the blog’, the meaning of respect would indicate that ‘respect the blog’ means to take another look at it and consider what you are looking at. So when you want your spouse or children to respect you, consider what you are really asking for.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
3 Responses
Yes,,,,just teaching simple COURTESY seems to be becoming a lost issue…there is a lot more concern with ‘getting your rights’ …this has permeated our society through all kinds of influence…generations now have been living with those raised with their most urgent issue being ‘self esteem’
This idea of self esteem was one of the things my husband told me the OW had …his concern for HER overrode concern for me and our family and everyone else that should have been his focus.
She worked this to the max……still does…
People moves in and out of her life due to their waking up ….I just wish my husband who has a diploma from a prominent University in Psychology had realized this ! His appetites and lust came FIRST ….ego …what else ….He is very proud and hard headed…stiff necked.
How did I marry such a person? He was not like this but became more and more as he entered into the corporate office culture…HE was always competitive coming from a pro ball background …but the availability of OW in his workplace combined with the heavy competitive arena of big business…and God …and his wife and children just could not compete
I think it is interesting that GOD instructs MEN a lot more than women in all ways that are to protect his wife’s emotions …which would protect his morality and in turn would protect his family …and his income !
ALL of this could have been avoided if he had only cared enough about GOD to continue in the way he was while we were dating and in the WORD …even after marriage …’
THe big turn away occurred when he changed his career from being with on older man who was a scout with him,.,…who was married for over 40 years to a career and a crowd along with it that cared little about morality or marriage ……the way of our present culture is DOWNWARD …how much brighter we are told those who follow the Lord in truth are shining …that does not follow that those who are in the darkness WILL follow as well.
Zaza,
It sounds like he could have learned some lessons from Solomon’s son. He received one line of advice from the old counselors of his father and a whole different line of advice from his peer group. Rather than go with the aged wisdom, he went with his peer group and lost much of his kingdom.
sigh ….sadly so …