Whether you call the negative fall out related to an affair a curse due to sinful choices or bad karma related the affair taking things that were not their own, the reality remains that there are consequences related to the actions of the cheater. When the actions are self-centered, involving taking things that do not belong to the cheater, they may be bringing a ‘world of hurt’ upon themselves and you. When the consequences of sin/curses/bad karma arrive, they do not discriminate. Those consequences impact everyone and everything they come in contact with. Hiding the wrong doing will not eliminate the consequences. Acting like if it is not seen, that it will not hurt you does not remove the curse.
There are always negative consequences that follow your actions. What cheaters do not realize is that their actions echo through the physical, emotional and spiritual universe. Although they may have rationalized that it was ‘just a physical thing’ or in some cases, there are emotional attachments formed, they and you will eventually have to face the fact that those actions triggered consequences. Many times, it is only the consequences that finally wake cheaters up to reality. When they have to face the pain, isolation, lack of trust and damaged reputation they begin to wake up from their fantasies, like a harsh alarm clock bringing them back to real life.
It could be that the best thing you could do to ‘wake’ the cheater up is allow them to feel the pain of their bad choices, NOT inflicting them yourself, but rather allowing the natural consequences to teach the lessons like a wise old professor.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
8 Responses
Hi Jeff:
In cases like mine, where the affair was used to exit the marriage. .. there really doesn’t seem to be any consequences to my husband. He and the other woman got what they wanted – each other. He didn’t want anything (home, money, assets, belongings, etc.) other than his clothing and his freedom and peace. In previous posts I have alluded to my bad behavior in the marriage and i wonder if the karma is coming back at me instead of at him?
Just wondering your thoughts on the matter.
Blessings,
Christina
Christina,
You ask a challenging question. Consequences can come as a result of choices from either spouse or even the both of you. In marriages where paybacks are common, it is as if the both of them are in a contest to see who can bring more misery on the both of them. I can not speak with total authority on your situation, what I do know is that there are always effects and consequences to actions. Just because you do not see it does not mean that they are not there. Some are time delayed. The saying “Be sure you sin will find you out” is a non-negotiable, there will be consequences unless the matter was dealt with quickly and resolved, in which case, the consequences are lessened.
Some consequences are emotional, some are physical and some are spiritual. It may be something as simple as not sleeping, a guilty conscience, the potential of future affairs, etc. Each interaction or relationship we are in brings either blessings or curses. When relationships begin with unfaithfulness, lies and secrets, they are not starting out on a healthy foundation. In your case, you also know that you changed and did your best. When you have given your best, you can live without regrets or in fear of consequences from your actions.
Christina,
As I have been spending the best part of the last 42 years seeking out WHY many things happen in life….I have been growing in learning about what even those who try their best to do right, act right and still end up with situations that challenge us.
Life on earth is challenging and a lot of what happens or even our behaviors at best may fail because of LACK of KNOWLEDGE of what is the truth . What is the right way to do things. Even as I began my quest and studied all kinds of books and various religions I found that there were many ways that a persons UNDERSTANDING has been what led to making decisions and acting that were simply in error.
Good intentions but bad choices because one may lack wisdom is one thing. All choices have outcomes …and sinful ones cause lot of damage.
But willful acting upon something one KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS is wrong or sinful is another matter …yet consequences still remain.
People who seek to grow in knowledge , seeking out how God defines terms that often times our understanding may cause us to act upon a wrong paradigm…
All of us have a length of a lifetime to learn, grow and change. I believe that mercy is the allowance of time for us to do so. Grace is what provides us with God’s power to help us obey Him through His knowledge so we can begin to change and are thus equipped to learn how He intended us to live IN HIS LOVE.
Forgiveness and redemption within a marriage where both people are aware that they can learn to live in marriage well is God’s desire for us as a people who HE loves and wants relationship with,.
I believe the things I have been learning especially since I began to seek to learn what Jesus had for me to learn have revealed things about my perspectives and understanding that led me to believe things that were in error . In marriage wrong teachings, wrong understandings, and lack of knowledge of how all of this life works really can wreck havoc in even the lives of people who have the best intentions for a great marriage
Like anything else in life we all can use instruction from the one who made all things and has provided for us to learn of His way of seeing all things in this life.
How helpful I feel this kind of revelation has been . I have more compassion even as many hurtful things have happened in my life. I am not anyone different from many others who simply have tried to live rightly but in areas where I did not know or bought deceptions I had to learn and continue to learn
Whatever you have done in your marriage never NEVER is cause for your spouse to leave you . When life comes at you …especially in marriage there has to be a realistic understanding of the FUNCTION of marriage ….it is NOT a “thing’ …it is not a static condition …it is RELATIONSHIP ..
It is interesting to me how some people expect that marriage is THE “ANSWER “..and they expect it to be WHAT MAKES them happy….The ‘happiness’ comes THROUGH overcoming ….but sadly there is little encouragment for people to realize they are entering into a LEARNING curve for a lifetime.
Personality is only ONE part of it ….I feel that no matter what ONE person in a marriage may bring to the table it is the ATTITUDE and EXPECTATION of how one must be willing to grow in knowledge and then be willing to apply what it takes…over and over again with no escape clause in mind.
Todays culture is not supportive of this kind of attitude . There are no ‘perfect persons’ …but people who are willing to admit they can learn and grow and realize the person they marry may be an ‘adult’ but that is not defined by age and physical development …in fact mental and emotional maturity come through disciplined selflessness.
I am sad that your husband took the easy and quick way out …but the vow is a VOW …it is sad but a man who has to live with this stigma upon his manhood of NOT KEEPING HIS WORD will be haunted sooner or later .
No matter what your faults may have been your attitude has displayed more maturity as you have been dealing with learning about what YOU may do and what you have considered and learned from having thought through your marriage .
A person has one life to make a legacy
May your own life continue to grow in wisdom as you seek more and more understanding of what it is …life …and what the one who made it has intended .
Hugs ….sow good seed and keep on seeking Him.
Good fruit comes from sowing good seed ….fruit not consequences are a good choice.
Thank you Jeff and Zaza for your kind words of encouragement. I am working through forgiving myself for my bad behaviors, because yes, it is true that I lacked wisdom of God’s ways. When I cracked open that Bible for the first time after my husband left, I landed on the book of James. I wept in conviction and sorrow for the damage my tongue had inflicted on my husband. My eyes flew open in knowledge from the Word – I knew all the answers to life were there and I did not employ them in my marriage or any other relationship. It’s been a journey, of course, but I am wiser now and I seek not to make the same mistakes. I pray God will use me somehow in the life of another person struggling with the same issues. Thanks again for your feedback. Blessings.
Christina,
We have all ‘blown it’ and need to forgive ourselves. One of the consequences of affairs is how cheaters believe that they as people are not forgivable. Learning how to separate who you are from what you have done is often a tough challenge. The two are not synonymous.
Your meekness and hunger have been rewarded as you went to seek out truth and He who is truth which is OBEDIENCE …..Be comforted in the knowledge that according to Jesus FEW are willing to do this .
There are the ‘MANY” which he referred to who end up on the ‘broad way’ which leads to destruction’
I used to think this “many’ referred only to those who were NOT believers, as I have pursued Him more and more in my own personal quest I have since become aware that the ‘many’ were NOT those who were not considering themselves ‘christian’ but the “many’ and the “few’ are those who ARE actively believing they are following Him in truth.
One of the most shocking discoveries to me was this truth that we are told to CONTINUE in his word ….by continuing to pursue understanding by way of personal study and reviewing and evaluating all things considered to be the ‘gospel’ and THE doctrines of the biblical faith I have had many times been led to see the differences between what not only the WORLD has laid upon my thinking but various teachings assumed to be truth within the various ways the gospel has been represented within the church!
I exhort you to continue even as He directed those who were among his hearer back when he walked this earth .
So many awesome revelations that are actually confirmed throughout the scriptures that I had not heard or been taught from others ….but brought through a length of time in seeking out answers from within the testimony of the bible and simply asking , seeking and then continuing.
One big question I asked years ago was ‘What is going on in the CHURCH? What has happened that so much confusion and seemingly acceptance of sinful practices has crept in? The answers that eventually took form in my mind from study of the word were pretty amazing , sorrowful but satisfying
I exhort you also to consider that whatever grief you have experienced as you have had to realize the sinful past state of your life has come to mind is PAST….we often have more trouble forgiving ourselves for things past than others. This will fade away ….as I have shared with my husband …As we fill up with the word and it is RECEIVED by our thinking we begin to realize how BIG forgiveness is and WHY it is something the Lord has told us takes REPETITIVE application to our lives.
As we begin to have our eyes OPENED and He supplies our thinking with understanding of all of what he has made available …we are brought to see that we were born DEAD…..what can a DEAD person ‘do’ ? NOTHING .
When we come to Christ and MAKE Him LORD ‘ of our way….HIS way BECOMES our way ..His thoughts going into our minds and acted upon become our LIFE. As we do THIS …receive with meekness the engrafted word that is ABLE to make us whole…as we do this we are PASSING FROM DEATH …unto LIFE.
This is resurrection into HIS Kingdom …..His Kingdom is unseen because it is SPIRIT….it is WITHIN …for we are the TEMPLE of the Holy SPIRIT>….our BODIES are this TEMPLE.
SO then without His spirit / word IN us we have been dead ….as His Spirit “dwells’ in us …this occurs as we have his WORD ‘abiding’ IN us …through taking it in and living by it by the power of it.
The ‘power ‘ of the word is manifest not by signs and wonders that people SEE ….but by what results when we DO what the spirit brings up to our minds FROM WITHIN that Word of GOD that we have ‘eaten daily’ and ‘digested ‘ by way of thinking and concerning ourselves with obeying God because we have learned and see HE is worthy of obedience.
God equates obedience to his commands as the key to our deliverance from the lies we have believed and lived by through influences of our own assumptions and various twists of his word either intentional or by way of others not obediently searching the scriptures for what GOD actually would work IN each individual to bring about a clearer understanding of what HE would engage us to learn.
Learning by way of hearing what other share is good ..it whets the appetite for our own searching and learning .
Our meekness is not a posture of the outward kind but an inward heart attitude which submits to His instruction which He has provided by way of our receiving His ‘take’ on all things…including and from a knowledge of what He has said ..and allowing Him to define all terms by way of how he uses them and from their use in context….aka word study which allows ALL scriptures using a word to reveal the way GOD would have us understand what HIS perspective is .
Once we see the massive depth of His love for us and what His forgiveness of how our lives have been damaged by the error of our understanding of His word/will by way of living in a fallen world in a fallen state we thus may see our past behaviors with new eyes….Gratitude has a way of not only condemning sin in all of it’s forms but seeing the helplessness of man to realize the depth of it ..
Popular culture has normalized sin. Through a process of decline in the teaching of truth ….and a effectively formed false way man has lost his ability to discern ….false teachings that continue to corrupt understanding and thus practice have been more and more the ‘daily’ fare of mankind.
It takes a deliberate effort and a DESIRE to know the Creator for anyone to push through the massive systems of error both in and without what many assume to be the diverse representative doctrines that abound in the name of ‘god’ to find the truth.
Tolerance being the word’ of the day has been useful to deflect the proclaiming of truth …just as in the days of the first century the effort has been to squelch the speaking in the name of Jesus Christ. But one thing the believers persisted in was to reply ‘ we cannot but speak that which we have seen and heard’
Opposition to the sharing of what you are learning may NOT effect those around you to proceed to seek Him ….YET testimony of what you are learning is still commanded and is actually USEFUL for your own growth.
Just like we eat and our bodies make use of the nutrition of our food and THEN we ‘release’ what is not used….we are to receive the word with meekness, retain the word because it is truth and then release it for a healthy and living walk. Release is not just speaking but in our applications and by this we are taught and learn . The word confirms truth as we apply it and it convicts or shines itself upon error so we do not continue thinking or practicing something not in line with His word.
Many who may hear your sincere testimony of things you have been taught will NOT like it because it convicts what is in them. We are not condemned when we respond to truth but condemnation is the STATE we have been UNDER …since the Fall …
Since the Fall we all have been born into a world that is ‘condemned’ and that is why Jesus did not “COME to condemn the world but to save it ‘ ….it was already condemned …judged ..the consequence was contained in the sin which resulted from disobedience when Adam demonstrated his own flesh was more compelling than his love for GOD ….which as I said…was the one way God had determined he would measure man’s love for Him
If you love me KEEP my word…..keep my commandments.
Now …when you have been convicted and have seen the various ways the condition of walking by your flesh and fleshly understandings has resulted in the past things of your life AND you continue to accept these truths and condemn them in agreement with what the Lord’s perspective is THEN that is indication that you are beginning to SEE truth the way HE does.
Forgiveness is something that EXISTS already for whomsoever is willing to receive it .
It is not permission to go live by flesh again …but it reveals to us the way we can live set apart from having to take all of what is around us as if we have no ability to refuse old habits of mind and body to continue effecting our decisions without hope of change .
The word provides us with the ability , the ‘power’ through understanding what is going on with various urges to allow GOD to tell us how to deal with them
For example …as I have been growing from this process …I have been brought to SEE some of the things in my past way of living from HIS point of view…Many of what I did not think anything of He has brought me to see have consequences in how they effected my life and perhaps the way others minds were turning to think things unprofitable
When we live by our fleshly understanding our ‘natural ‘ ways that have been formed from the effective influences of this world …we are going to fall under those influences UNLESS we learn about what is the way LIFE is ….without the knowledge of the word we have NOTHING from any other perspective to tell what is truth and what is a lie.
Only God is good according to Jesus …so if we are going to know “good’ we must know HIm …we can through His word….
Without His word we only have whatever comes across our minds from the natural world …other peoples minds. .which many times have been influenced through the spirit of disobedience which does NOT respect the mind of man and his free will …but interferes to gain ‘worship
“Worship” is not a ritual but it is to know and walk in the spirit …aka the word of GOD …truth.
“Worship” is what our LIFE is to be
Your NEW IDENTITY is IN Christ if you are following Him.
There is NOW therefore no more condemnation for those who are IN Christ Jesus ” what does that mean? The verse goes on to explain …”who walk not after the flesh but walk after the SPIRIT”
As we apply His word to our thinking and walk …we are NO MORE IN the “flesh” but like the HIND we put OUR feet where HIS feet have walked….[look up the Hind in the scripture for the reference]
So our lives are no more made up of whatever we have as our past but our LIFE IS IN Christ ..as we have been ‘born’ into HIS….our new IDENTITY is revealed IN us through His word and our new LIFE begins to be seen and experienced as we obey …
You have already obeyed from the heart in many areas….the effort of the “prince of this world’ aka the carnal fleshly mind has already begun to try to convince you that you are still under condemnation.
IN Jesus Christ we have PASSED from DEATH …unto LIFE ….by way of entering INTO HIM through the strait gate …..’ditches’ lay on either side of the ‘narrow way’ …..but our Good Shepherd ….who IS the ‘good Samaritan’ of the WORD comes to mind to remind us ..
As you fill up on the Word …no sinful past will condemn you further as those things begin to be ONE of the ways we are brought to realize the depth of LOVE GOD has had for his children. Those things which we did out of our flesh begin to be ways we are led to SEE how great his corrections are …
We COULD have been left to flounder around making the same mistakes throughout our lives …just thinking it was someone else’s “fault’ or just our ”circumstances’ …feeling unable and abandoned to our own devices without any help or ability to change anything .
Though what you are reading and learning to apply you have seen that there is HOPE since what you have been realizing and seeing as the truth also will direct you to make better choices…AND it reveals much of what has been effecting the thought life and thus the activity of others which all overflow in consequences onto others lives.
Your past sin becomes useful in the light of truth to help you learn HOW you went there …what resulted and how you could have made a different choice…..
Temperment among humans may vary but behavior can be changed ….God told parents to keep his word and to TRAIN up their children in the way they should go . Since many have not had this kind of training up ….FROM the truths of GOD’s word that was to be IN parents down through the years …WE are given the opportunity to ‘train up ‘ our SELVES …as being ‘little children’ in need of training
This is the process of the WALK….it is our RE …NEWING of the mind and then walking out in that new perspective…and thus HIS spirit confirms with OUR spirit which through putting it in our minds….that we ARE HIS .
You know your past …God does too …and He has called upon you through your desire to change and know HIM …to learn from His testimony not just what sin IS ….but now …what HE has intended for you to become in all ways
This new life IS LIFE …what we all have had in the past was not LIFE but according to the Word we were ‘born into death ..’ this world IS the ‘valley of the shadow of death’ and we get THROUGH it by of following our GOOD SHEPHERD
My sheep know my voice another they will not follow…we hear his ‘voice’ which is HIS WORD and we become His…we are ‘born ‘ from above through the hearing and following after Him ….being resurrected by His Word being OUR LIFE….
eminder
Your new identity does not include your past sin …your past sin is what will be useful for you to have confirmed that all of those ways are damaging and useless for a life that is abundant and true.
Your life is NOT in the past …..it is IN the LORD …so there is nothing useful in identifying yourself with all of what is dead, past and ‘buried’ ….yet we do not forget entirely …we just see those things past as a distant reminder of how in need we all are of the intervention of our God who not only saved us from an eternal condition of darkness but from our blindness to all that was harming us in this present world.
THAT is cause for THANKFULNESS and REJOICING no matter what else may come across our path
Be mindful of this one thing ..” no temptation but such as is common to man …but GOD has made a way of ESCAPE that we may be able to bear it ‘ one of the ways this is available is that we are told to ‘submit to GOD …resist the devil and he will flee from you’
WE cannot resist from flesh …but that is why we are told to SUBMIT to GOD ….to learn what GOD says and do it ….in submitting to GOD we are at the same time resisting the opposition.
It begins in our thinking …if we do not KNOW what GOD’S take on our state or situation is then we will not be able to ‘submit’ …you cannot apply what you do not know …still we are commanded to study , seek and search …comparing spiritual things [ the word ] with spiritual [his words] ….like the Bereans …we compare all things..thoughts, situations with how they sit in the testimony of the Lord..
It is an exciting way to live…..do not allow condemnation to come into your thoughts ..you condemn the past sins …you acknowledge them …and you seek to live by HIS life …thus those things no longer are ‘yours’ but are good to keep you thankful for the present knowledge that is useful for your being able to agree that they are deadly …and to live rejoicing in the way you have SEEN what others are not even aware of that is working against their desire to live a life free of the kinds of consequences their own ‘good intentions’ have brought about !
“Continue in my words and you will be MY disciples INDEED” Jesus ….
Hugs
Christina
Another thought ….anger when violated by someone else’s willful choices to do sin is tempered with acknowledgement of the deceptiveness of sin.
As you read …out of the condition of a person’s heart their actions become realities.
That is one reason we are told that we need to have a ‘circumcised ‘ heart…..a heart meek to receive.
One aspect that many who are believers are led to feel condemned about is that they are angry with their CS. ….but the word does not tell us that this is an unjust or sinful attitude about being sinned against …
We are told not to be ‘angry with our brother WITHOUT CAUSE”
The world’s form of justice is just as skewed as the world’s FORM of godliness. It is flawed and slow to enact any kind of justice.
However GOD is not only all LOVE but HIS Love also demands his RIGHTEOUSNESS and JUSTICE which are all a part of His character …reflected in man who was created in His image …despite how life in the fallen world has marred this aspect.
We are justly angered by a spouse who commits adultery …most everyone would agree this is a huge violation of truth
YET along with our understanding from the WORD of the deceptiveness of sin and the effects of flesh that is without the equipping of the wisdom of GOD to realize HOW to deal with it ….many are compelled to have ‘accepted’ sin as ‘natural ‘ which it has become not just accepted but since it often appears as ‘pleasurable ‘ for a ‘season’ ….many simply have given themselves OVER to it …without realizing what GOD has told us …how DEADLY engaging in it is.
We see testimony of the first century church that was greatly influenced and thus received reproving epistles to wake up and deliver themselves out from sinful practices of cultures around them!
Thus we can be compassionate having seen how we ourselves may have ‘fallen FOR ” such lying perspectives
However we are to also recognize that God’s LOVE does NOT ‘love’ anyone by way of turning a blind eye to what is killing them and damaging others…we SPEAK that which we KNOW from HIS word
Jesus’s love was not just soft and kind but it was confrontational in terms of sinful practices.
Those who PRACTICE and ENCOURAGE SIN are to be exposed , warned and reproved or as he put it REBUKED…not only for their own souls sake but for the way their lives influence and thus encourage sinful acceptance of such vile choices.
Eli’s sons are a good example to see how God would not allow them to continue to get away with their behavior which caused the people to disrespect the laws of GOD which were given for their own good.
Compassion without the word is useless to give people light by which they may ‘recover themselves out of the snare they have become entangled in by deceit’
Jeff,
You make a valid point. However those who cheat CHOOSE to do so BECAUSE of the condition of their heart….they have yet to circumcise the flesh from it so they do not follow a heart that is what God identifies as ‘carnal’ , ‘fleshly” , desparately wicked, and deceitful.
Until the Lord is LORD of their lives they will be pulled around by it . What we do DOES have some ‘build up’ in terms of the accumulation of all our choices.
Becoming a follower of Jesus Christ in all aspect …heart, soul, mind and strength [actions] TRANSFORMS a person …they begin to form a NEW IDENTITY
So then deliberate sin being out of a carnal state IS the OLD IDENTITY which will NOT be transformed without the spirit of GOD which is from the seed …which is HIS WORD placed IN and then LIVED BY
So then …if a person is not the sum total of his thoughts and actions why then is he accountable to the Lord when all is said and done?
I have heard the claim ‘ love the sinner hate the sin’ but in truth if someone is deliberately rejecting the truth and living BY their desires despite the testimony of what sin IS …then they are a composite of the identity that Christ came to call us to be changed FROM >
Forgiveness as I understand it now is not something we beg our Heavenly Father for since Jesus pronounced ‘IT IS FINISHED” from the culmination of his walk in complete obedience to His Father from the cross.
What was “finished” ? HIS assignment from the Father?
What is it that he told us then to “FOLLOW HIM” is HE ‘did it all FOR us”?
I have seen the results of this assumption and it denies the responsibility of those who believe this for them to ‘do what I say’ as Jesus warned those who were calling him ‘lord lord’ but not doing what he said.
If we have a change of “lord’ from self and natural minded thinking then we are transformed through our lifetime of submission to HIM …a new identity.
For example ….My own husband has had no interest in laying down his old life and pursuing change as yet to obey the LORD
His idea of change is formed by his own selective ‘obedience’ to a ‘better standard’ which he has set for himself….to “NOT sin’ …or for a better word…self defined religion of the flesh.
This may LOOK better or maybe ‘feel ‘ better to HIM but it still leaves him with himSELF as the lord of his life …which is idolatry
I think this is why when people go on to make adjustments to their behavior according to some suggestions of ‘how to get your spouse back’ they often find they are still vulnerable to their former failures when they are not equipped with the wisdom of GOD that comes from the spirit of GOD that is his word residing in their minds to guide and advise them in HOW to follow the LORD Jesus Christ who is LIVING and because they have taken up the ‘cross’ of his word and kept it …that will come up from within them to counsel their every thought.
They still must utilize this wisdom by way of DOING it….This takes a conscious DECISION to follow Him actively and daily in order to grow ‘up’ in this new way of thinking and living
The sum of who we are is still going to be under condemnation that is from the Fall ..despite the efforts of some to be disciplined and avoid ‘sin’ in all kinds of behaviors and activities…because it is the HEART that must be changed….a NEW heart. Which occurs when we have a ‘life exchange ‘ which is then directed by Him from within by way of His word coming to mind and then obeying it .
I think this is a difference between changing ones behavior and a faith walk which begins to take the cover off of those things within that we have not particularly thought had anything to do with what we have chosen to do …
In other words …as the years have progressed there are things that I have been brought to see as stumbling blocks to my intent to follow the Lord as His word has ‘cleansed’ me from perspectives that used to not think anything of some of the things in my life
As I have seen that many of what we have been led to accept as ‘normal’ have been due to the world’s influence and actual ‘indoctrination’ …Normalizing sin is what the world does best …and eventually trying to legitimize it ..either judicially or simply by way of the mental acceptance of it .
The fear of man HAS brought a ‘snare’ just as the Bible says….people fear to be ‘different’ and rejected among their culture and have observed or experienced ridicule for taking a high moral stand ,.,thus we see our culture corroded away as acceptance of sin as normal and unavoidable has led to the debauchery we observe and suffer from all around.
People have been led and taught that they have a ‘sin nature’ …there is no such reference in the Word .
If we have a ‘nature’ that is accepted that WILL SIN then we have an unjust God who then JUDGES us for a condition we cannot choose to oppose!
ALL are accountable …now and later for the choices we make. As children we are to be trained to choose the righteousness of GOD …we are ‘stumbled’ by influences that work against our innocence from birth ….yet we are called upon to obey .
The rebellion that a young child has is called ‘foolishness’ and the parent is commanded to TRAIN their child to ‘choose the good’ ….
The neglect or ignorance of this has brought forth many who grow to ‘adulthood’ without triaining of the conscience…thus adult ‘fools’ abound.
To reverse this process of defiling influence we are given the opportunity to be transformed by way of the word put in mind , kept and obeyed ..
The Lord who has loved us does not deny that sin abound IN THE WORLD and thus effects all who are born into it …but he has made a way for us to move FROM this death from our birth in terms of being disconnected from Him….from this death to LIFE which is by way of living by his LIVING word..which is HIS spirit …where in is found “NO CONDEMNATION ” …IN HIM
The scripture is often quoted out of context among believers and thus leaves off a very important aspect Jesus told us we need to ABIDE in …but we cannot ABIDE in something we have not KNOWLEDGE of ..therefore he said ‘KEEP MY WORDS, Let my WORD ABIDE IN YOU …and YOU ABIDE or live IN my words and I and my Father will come in and make OUR ABODE IN YOU”
So then the total statement from His word is this
Rom 8:1 [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
When we are ‘born from above’ ….of the “incorruptible seed’ which is HIS Word{ which IS His SPIRIT …we are thus no longer accounted among those who are walking by the FLESH as we walk AFTER His SPIRIT ..
We are defined hence forth by way of this NEW identity …a life lived not only walking after His leadership which He offers us through what he has given us to think …but the living aspect of that word causes it to rise up and to bring thoughts to mind as to what we are to do IF HE IS OUR LORD>
Just stopping sin does not deal with the inner situation of being ‘dead’ …without obeying what HIS roadmap is to the life he offers us …there is no transformation …the SEED that transforms us inside is his LIVING WORD / SPIRIT.
Thus ….the person who may ‘confess ‘ his sin and stop it …but has missed this most important reality GOD has made clear in His Word and through His only begotten Son will not fully make the changes that are what He has brought forth to us to CHOOSE in having discovered our state.
As His word fills the mind more and more the ‘light ‘ of it shines on areas that we did not see or even consider that have been influencing or tempting us with lies from within where we have been essentially programmed through all of the ways the world has brought to bare on our worldview of all things.
It has been said that without a change of LORDS there is not true change ….
When we come to realize we need a change of ‘lord’ it does not follow it will be EASY and I think many have been stumbled by this idea and become discouraged and weary when they do not immediately think and feel differently about all kinds of things…
The ‘walk’ as it is called seems to be just that …one step at a time …and the word is a ‘lamp unto my FEET” which to me has been experienced by the way I have had to choose my ‘steps’ or decisions …one at a time …the resulting life so far has many various testimonies to the way that WOrd has changed my views…and thus my desires to obey ….the ways I failed…and saw the outcome are as instructive to me and maybe others as when I obeyed…
One of the curious things about my own marriage is that my husband still rejects the wisdom of GOD even after seeing the length of his own lifetime that was consistently offered wisdom and he consistently refused to obey GOD …even after seeing the contrasting outcomes between a life led by the Lord ..though ‘flawed’ by lack of obedience but more often lack of understanding …still a better outcome …HE still is stubborn in the face of it ..and continues to suffer …since HE has chosen to make his OWN ‘rules’ of how to ‘fix’ things.
This is sad because without a complete turning to follow the Lord he is suffering sorrow over sin rather than thankfulness in experiencing the forgiveness that EXISTS for anyone willing to receive it .
He has not experienced forgiveness which is there for the receiving because he does not believe …he does not believe because he STILL does not want ANYONE telling him what to do .
He still walks after his own feelings and when he bumps up against the failures that result in his efforts he gets angry and depressed.
I pray that whatever he experiences will bring him to realize he has been resisting and standing in the way of his own rebellious attitude.
His pride…He has admitted his sin but his pride causes him to refuse to admit he does not have all the answsers….or the means to do what GOD tells us is right and true.
I think this is because he does not want to reliquish his will to submit to GOD …fearing loss of control.
The truth is that when we refuse to walk in the wisdom of GOD our lives become vulnerable and ‘up for grabs’ by the prince of this world who is looking for ways to GAIN CONTROL over people who have no idea of HOW COME they do sinful things when they thought they were ‘above’ that sort of thing
The key is that GOD offers the way to control our own lives by filling our minds with wisdom and then by his spirit obeying Him …because we see that we are not able to overcome all temptations just by our own thinking …
Thinking bent over time to accept sin as it has become ‘normalized ‘ over a length of time a media and peers untrained to see how their desires are in need of being bound by boundaries ….for their own protection and health as well as OTHERS ….
The Lord has told us that ‘My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge , because you have rejected knowledge…I have rejected you [from being king] ….this was what HE was telling the king but the truth is still applicable.
Because people do not KNOW the WORD they are making assumptions about GOD …what he will do ..and what he has charged us to do …
Thus God is blamed for what many times is man’s own outcome from his independent choices…choices made independent of the counsel of GOD …
Thus …my hubby still will not submit to the knowledge and counsel of GOd which he has readily available…as yet..
This I believe demonstrates what the difference between ‘godly sorrow ‘ which causes a person to seek energetically the way to live rightly …which would lead to the Lord …and ‘worldly sorrow which ends in death’ ….if we are born dead..without God and in the world ‘ then we NEED to see this condition and seek out how it may be changed…Before Christ came there were people who had been accounted as righteous’ but now …we have been offered the WAY made by making JESUS LORD
TOo many years believing in Jesus Christ as ‘savior ‘ without having made him LORD led to many of those ‘followers’ falling short because this one truth was obscured by doctrines that kept the pews filled
It is indeed ‘good ‘ news to the flesh to be led to think there is no need of a change of ‘lord’ …that somehow we can be saved or made whole by ‘magical thinking’
“Salvation” …just like “forgiveness’ is something the Lord told us we need to ‘walk in” ….to ‘CONTINUE in my words’ ….
Forgiveness does not erase the facts of our past…it causes us to realize the depth of the truths and the love of the Lord….
What Jesus endured before his cross in beatings and such were NOT what GOD inflicted upon Him but what the Devil and the demons of hell enjoyed doing ..they THOUGHT that if they could KILL the FLESH BODY of the Son of GOD that they had ‘won’
The thing is that they COULD NOT KILL the Son of GOD …because that IS SPIRIT and is not bound by the flesh …
THe flesh profiteth NOTHING ….my words are spirit and my words are life…was Jesus declaration
What in the spirit and you will not FULFILL the lusts of the flesh
The FLESH is against the SPIRIT…”The carnal mind is ENMITY AGAINST the Lord
But when we fill up on the WORD of GOD and live by it ..it being living spirit …direct us in the way that we should go
That is an AWESOME TRUTH …and not to be missed ..it makes our lives make sense as time goes by and we see more and more the chaos that comes about in lives left ‘free’ from the way GOD has given us to live without confusion or being ‘tripped up’ by sinful offerings that may “SEEM RIGHT”
There is a way that seemeth right unto a man but that way is death.
We do not have to be deceived but we have been warned that without having his word in us and then obeying it we are ‘ill equipped’ to know when we are being led away to some destructive idea.
I hope this has been useful ..I have had to learn a lot of this by way of seeking from having experienced applying what I THOUGHT was truth but was lacking in some aspect….deceit is very subtle as the Lord told us …I think many times we underestimate the depth of evil that exists because much of evil is concealed as ‘good’ …without the Lord’s wisdom to shine on what we already think …we cannot see it .
Hugs