Although there are many of you who view cheating as a problem, there are some people who view cheating as ‘normal’. Although you view it as a threat to your marriage, the swingers view it as a marriage enhancer, which like flavor enhancers add spice to one’s life.
The problem with these different value systems is that they will take you in two different directions. Trying to combine the two is like mixing apples and oranges.
You may dismiss the swingers and assume that since you do not associate with them, they are not a threat to you or your marriage. Keep in mind that those with the ‘swinger’ mentality may be the one’s teaching sex education, or wrote the sex education book that your children or your spouse may have learned their ideas about sex from.
They may have planted seed that “sex outside of marriage is natural and normal” or that “oral sex is not sex” or some other ideas that are not in keeping with your morals. With all the emphasis on safe sex, many teens began viewing oral sex as an acceptable alternative to intercourse.
Although the instructor may have done a wonderful job, there is still the possibility that cheaters as teens were looking for ways of ‘cheating’ the system and relationships in general. They want a way to enjoy the ‘forbidden fruit of sex’ and avoid the consequences. In their search, they may perform some mental gymnastics within their mind to make ‘oral sex’ acceptable.
In a similar manner, some cheaters take the values of the swingers and use them like mantras in order to make their cheating ‘acceptable’, even though it is tearing themselves, you and your marriage apart. Make no mistake, all those visits to swinger websites are educating you on the lifestyle. They are training you and desensitizing you. They are making extramarital relations seem ‘normal’ and ‘fun’.
No amount of excuses will ever make it ‘normal’ or acceptable to violate your marriage and the promises you both made before each other and God.
So if you are looking for where those ideas that cheating is acceptable came from, it may be from the ‘education’ received earlier in life, or from some television show or movie that subscribed to that way of thinking.
Once that thinking has taken root in your heart and mind, it will take time and effort to remove it. Once the affair is over, you will need to remove the thinking, otherwise it is only a matter of time until it happens again.
If you are experiencing ‘relationship trauma’ from the swinger lifestyle, the video on “Relationship Trauma for Swingers” will help you move past it.
Best Regards,
Jeff
2 Responses
Very well expressed …or as the Lord put it ‘Evil companions corrupt good morals’ ….’companions ‘ are any kind of influence that does not reinforce moral and healthy living .
The concerns about disease are often treated lightly in some ‘education’ venue….a CONDOM does not protect from some viruses as they have found that the molecular structure of the condom allows ‘space’ wherein some viruses can pass through .
Even so ..oral sex and some skin to skin contact of the genital area has been linked to HPV viruses which there are many strains …and NO cure! Genital warts, and even cervical cancers have been linked to some of the strains of this virus.
The BEST protection is NO sexual activity ..even ORAL …before marriage and then ONLY contact with ones spouse!
Whodathunk!
So much people are taking for granted are ‘safe’ ways to SIN …and according to GOD all sin KILLS…
He loved us so much HE did not want anyone to suffer from this condition!
He sent his SON …as you know Jeff….HIS son ALWAYS obeyed his father and did the FATHERS WILL ..even to the death ..in order to make a way for us all to be able to be WITH HIM and IN HIS PRESENCE without being “vaporized’ !
TO appreciate this ..we are brought to understand just what GOD explains IS ‘sin’ …most do not know or have a very different idea of what it means and how it KILLS …God tells us but many think the Bible is archaic….hmmmm wonder how that happened!
Anyway ..all influences around us either move us toward seeking and trusting the LORD …or down a path of following feelings and ideas that have no basis in the revealed words of GOD that he had written so we do not have to be deceive by our own fleshly condition of mind…’aka ‘carnal mind’ ….or by others of the same lack.
Hopefully people will wake up before they have to suffer MORE at the ‘hands’ of false teaching and ignorance
God told us that ‘MY people are DESTROYED for lack of knowledge …they have forsaken ME the fountain of living waters and hewn for themSELVES cisterns …broken cisterns that can hold NO water’
Mans ideologies based upon his own ideas of what is acceptable …don’t ‘hold water’
God is holy and He is JUST …that is the necessity for man needing a full payment for his condition ..fallen …and stumbling into sin ..which leaves him ‘ill equipped’ to stand in the presence of GOD and GOD WANTS us all ….so he made accommodations for us to be able to enter into His presence ..JESUS CHRIST ….
It is interesting that sometimes we forget HE HAD a WILL of his own …but he chose to obey GOD and it was a GOOD work …HE gave HIS life so we can follow in HIS footsteps….denying our self …taking up our cross daily ..[the ‘sword’ of the spirit which is the word of GOD ” …] which puts our old ways ‘to death ‘ as the wooden cross put his flesh to death …] and following what HE has told us by way of his words …we are thus HIS ..continuing in HIS words we are thus His ‘disciples indeed’
The outcome is awesome …why trade health and all that GOD wants to do IN us ..for a ‘quickie’!
It is very foolish ..and people are being led to think it is ‘normal ‘ …what a sad ‘trade off’
Sin is very PROFITABLE business…and it costs those who engage in it MUCH MORE than they realize in the inception .
May people begin to wake up and smell the ‘living waters”!!
Thanks again Jeff!
Zaza,
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I am reminded that a pastor (Randy Gilchrist) once told me “It all begins in the nursery”. It is a simple, succinct way of summing it up.