Many times there are signals indicative that the marriage is in trouble and an affair is approaching. Many writers have produced top ten signs of affairs, so rather than provide a top list, I will address one of these areas.
The area of concern is that of “devaluing”. Spouses often feel guilty if they have an relationship outside of their marriage when their spouse did not deserve it.
In such cases, the cheater has to talk themselves into having the affair. Part of this talking themselves into it consists of telling themselves that they “deserve to be happy” and that the you deserve what you are getting.
Feelings do not change overnight.
There is often a process, where the cheater or potential cheater begins the ‘devaluing’ process. The devaluing process focuses on drawing attention to the negative traits and how unappreciative and undeserving you are.
A mental case is made where the spouse is lowered in value. This can be observed in how they talk to and treat their spouse. When your spouse treats you or talks to you less than human, it should be a wake up call that trouble is on the way.
If sweetie, and honey have given way to “tramp”, “bum” or “dirty slut”, then trouble is around the corner.
No one wants to cheat on a loving spouse, but when your wife is a worthless slut (or worthless bastard) , it makes the cheating a lot easier.
Best Regards,
Jeff
