When you’re married to a love addict, there are times when you feel like you’re living with a ticking time bomb. You’re unsure of what’s going to happen next or when it will happen.
You live in a state of apprehension. At times, your spouse loves you intensely, yet you wonder how long it’s going to last.
Within the addiction community, some refer to love addicts as serial monogamists. Since they go from one monogamous relationship to another all in the name of ‘love’, they don’t see the addictive part of their personality.
They just feel that they deserve to be ‘loved’.
Since they go through marriages one intense monogamous relationship at a time, they look like committed spouses. The problem is that even while married, they are still ‘looking for love’.
For them, relationships are about chasing down love. When they have affairs, it’s not about the sexual high, instead it’s about chasing down love. They use sex to get love.
When it comes to desperation, they’ll do anything for love. For them, the thrill of love is the high they crave. When the thrill is gone in your marriage, they start looking for another source of ‘love’.
For the love addict, sex is used in getting love. This is very different from the sex addict who only wants the high that comes from their sex rituals.
Love addicts fiend after the high that comes from love and being ‘in love’. For them, just being in love or chasing after it gives them a buzz.
What this means is that when you have a spouse that sleeps around repeatedly, you need to consider the possibility that you’re dealing with a love addiction. It’s not that they hate you or have given up on marriage, they are just chasing after love.
If you are dealing with a love addiction, dealing with affair relapse is a high priority. You NEED an affair relapse prevention plan that addresses the love addiction. The plan needs attendance at love addiction support groups and it also means you need to know more about love addiction.
If you don’t have a clue about affair relapse prevention plans or what to include, you need to download the video “Overcoming Affair Relapse.” In it, I share with you what you need in your plan along with identifying high risk situations and other signs that your headed toward another relapse.
Rather than give up on your spouse, consider finding out and understanding what they and your marriage need.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
